Madonna: Promises BJ’s for Hillary Votes! (Shudder)

Entertainment News

We were about to call it a day here at Brainstain, but then we realized that this is pretty much a 24-hour job, with lots of writing and eyebrow frowning at the current state of the world. Who better to make you cringe than “Madonna”, the 58-Year-old “Like a Virgin” (buy here) singer, a truly delusional woman by now, thinking that she’s gonna’ turn 29, or even 39 this year, but not even by the looks of it? Sorry not so Madge, you’re soon 60-Years-Old and you still dress like a tramp on stage and you behave like a horny college student, that’s super high on ecstasy. WTH! So, her latest comments last night, before introducing Amy Schumer at Madison Square Garden, should come as no surprise:

“I’d better get off now because someone insanely funny is about to be on this stage, ladies and gentleman, one more thing before I introduce this genius of comedy”.

Firstly, there’s no comedy genius anywhere near the name “Amy Schumer”, she’s nothing more than your average comedian with a slightly tired act and she only gets plaudit’s because she’s slightly overweight and likes to talk about “c**k” mostly, in her stand up routines. She thinks that’s funny. We don’t find her that funny at all, at Brainstain, we find it funny that some people actually think that she’s funny at all.

Anyway, back to the insane rhetoric straight from Madge’s  mouth, as recently as last night, Madonna said, , “If you vote for Hillary Clinton. I will give you a blowjob. Okay? I’m really good. I’m not a d***he and I’m not a tool. I take my time, I have a lot of eye contact and I do swallow” said Madonna.

“We’re sorry?” (Sebastian Maniscalco voice) What did she just say? Isn’t she embarrassed? She would blow people in return for voting for Hillary Clinton? We feel sick and we just threw up a little bit in our mouths. Wow! We are speechless, but this is in horrible taste and we truly think that Madonna’s chickens have come home to roost. Please Madonna, pack it in!

You’re not sexy anymore, your music is a bunch of tripe and nobody would want a blowjob from you in return for voting for Hillary Clinton! Madonna has already shown to be quite the character in her overtly sexual routines, to adopting two babies from Africa, then also having meltdowns over her son on stage this summer, due to the fact that her son, Rocco, would apparently rather live with his father, Guy Ritchie in London.  Somehow, we’re not surprised. Would you want your mother to dress like a floozy and talk about sucking men’s “d***’s” in exchange for Hillary Clinton votes? No, we didn’t think you would either.

The world has clearly gone mad, people are cheering for Madonna’s comments and also people maybe thinking about voting for Hillary, the first ever presidential candidate under investigation by the FBI, with an email server subpoena and with the cold blooded murder of ex-Supreme Court Justice, Antonin Scalia, on her hands, which was verified by her campaign manager, John Podesta’s “wet work” email-exchange with a secret “gov” operative.

No, no, let’s just focus on Madonna’s wrinkly lips on your member or her overweight chum Amy Schumer and just laugh and pretend that the world is doing okay. Umkay? Also Madonna, we can’t help but be embarrassed for you. Madonna? Aren’t you embarrassed?

You’re not even a “MILF”, not a “Cougar”, but more like a “GRILF”, and nobody wants to hit that.

It seems like Hillary is so desperate for votes that she’s sending out all these artists and paid for celebrities’ $$$ in waves?

In conclusion, Madonna has  stepped up for free full fellatio to anyone actually willing to vote for Hillary, so in turn, wishing to do what the -ex first lady never did in the 1990’s, which was when Bill met Monica. Were Bill and Hillary on a break?

After Madonna’s latest comments, right now, we don’t think that we even would host Madonna on our living room carpet.

Great debate tonight? God bless America. Vote the right way and we can expect to see that change?

<(Mic Drop?>


<Story by The Narrator>

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