We’ve had a look for interesting news this ‘Freaky Friday’ ahead of Halloween, which will be celebrated this weekend across the globe and there we have it, surely this is the “story of the day”. Apparently, just throw some dead bodies out into space. Why not? Simply because researchers have confirmed that throwing preserved human carcasses into space could enable the formulation of new life forms on other planets and even in far-far away galaxies. Who knows if anybody would actually want anyone from the human race drifting randomly out into space, dead or alive? Surely, it could pollute the balance of the universe? What sort of dead people would we be sending? We would definitely have to send out our best dead people, don’t you agree? We can immediately think of lots of people that are alive, that we should just toss out into the abyss up there. But, the emphasis is on dead people here, that could physically be sent out to represent the human race.
We wonder if the ‘Hillary Campaign’ knew about this? Then they could have just sent those mysterious dead people away to outer space. Would’ve been perfect, right? No evidence! Only kidding!
Yes, a human body sent out in a craft could end up on any planet, as you do in “No Man’s Sky” (buy here) and thus trigger new life in only the right conditions. Now for the science part, in order for microbes to survive in this new environment, this dead body would have to be protected by a spacecraft, perhaps inside something like the “Millenium Falcon” or a ‘Standard Casket’ with wings. The researchers claim that the flight time duration will be critical, as too much time travelling means infinitely more radiation. Somebody should really have told ‘Doc’ and ‘Marty McFly’ about this, before they sparked lightning strikes down from that clock tower and used that DeLorean.
Always, we have been more concerned with long haul flight times, cramped leg room (DVT) and no advancements in domestic flight times since forever, but researchers still wanted to make it theoretically quicker and more painless for the already dead. Why improve airplane flight times on earth, when the dead will arrive much quicker on some other planet, much faster then we will ever get from London to New York on Delta, perhaps? Hmmm, this is fascinating to ponder, isn’t it?
Anyway, the researchers claim that this dead body could transport microbes or even act as the recipe for new life on another planet. This body could be the building block of DNA that creates a new version of us someplace else, unless some necrophilia obsessed alien gets involved and then we will have some sort of human hybrid out in space. Sounds like an episode of ‘Ancient Aliens’ (buy here)
Wow! Perhaps, we should send ‘Bernie’ from “Weekend at Bernie’s” as he’s already quite used to this sort of thing, being taken to places that he has no choice but going along with. However, we want to rack our brains and suggest the best dead people to send up there, when all this new research comes to fruition, we definitely need the best dead person to go up there. Don’t you think? Please, tell us in the comments section of “who you think would be the best dead person to send out into outer space?”
Louisiana State University microbial biologist Gary King, told Astronomy Magazine, that the microbes from the corpse might be able to survive the space environment, especially in a place like Mars, just like Matt Damon did in ‘The Martian’ (buy here). Only difference was that he was still alive, even though, we slept through the whole goddamn movie. Mr. King said that organisms could live and thrive in very harsh environments and in space like conditions, stating:
“We’ve pulled microbes out of permafrost, and there we’re talking about organisms surviving around one million years in suspended animation. Especially if the trip is somewhere close, like to Mars, bacterial spores in the human body will survive for sure. It’s also possible that other, non-sporing bacteria could survive as well. I’m thinking about microbes like Deinococcus radiodurans, which we know can survive low levels of water and high amounts of ionizing radiation.’
Which makes us think of ‘fungi spores’, which some new age philosphers claim to be the reason for lots of life, transcending through space and time, as if you, yourself, was on some sort of mind boggling magic mushroom trip. Yes, many new age philosophers also believe that these fungi spores created life itself, but also they may have made the ‘Homo-Erectus’ very enlightened and self aware, once they finally chowed down on these mushrooms spores that grow in “shit”. But, who knows about that sort of stuff? Not us!
Back to the proposed theoretical mission with Gary King, who said for a close trip to Mars, it is entirely possible to achieve this fete, within our solar system. However, he stopped short of other solar systems, as the radiation would severely limit our DNA and RNA and cause severe mutations, so this dead person might not arrive in one piece, after all. In saying that, he quipped, “I won’t say impossible, if you need only one of the vast number of microbes on the human body to survive the trip.”
Even if all microbes were killed off though, this corpses’ plummet down through space, scientists do say it is possible that it could lead to a new life form, altogether. Amazing, what’s being achieved in space exploration, isn’t it? We haven’t seen or heard anything this amazing since Stanley Kubrick’s suspected Moon landing film, to be honest. But wait, there’s more to this story, lets say if the corpse, let’s call him “Bernie” for now, lands on a planet with the right molecules like the building block triphosphates, it could very well spark life, as was confirmed by Nobel prize winning geneticist, Jack Szostack from Harvard Medical School, who told ‘Astronomy Magazine’, that the rotting DNA molecules released from the dead astronaut could potentially boost life in environmental conditions where it is perfect for life to form in the first place, but a few ingredients could be missing, or suffer from low levels of such concentration in the right biological balance for this to ever actually happen.
However, Lee Cronin from the University of Glasgow went one better, and basically said that a whole crew of dead people sent out to space would be far better. In fact, various crews of dead people in different crafts, going to different locations, would be far better than just the one corpse in the one carrier craft. The “more the merrier, as they say.”
Naturally, in order for these corpses to be exposed to this mixed cocktail of life formation, somebody better open the door to that bloody space craft, right? You’d hope so, anyway, who are the best “dead” people that we could send out to space, in a pure theoretical sense of the word? Hmmm? Let us know your thoughts but we couldn’t help but make this list of entertainers that passed too soon.
Brainstain would like to send up Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Marvin Gaye, Joan Rivers, Tupac Shakur, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, James Dean, Robin Williams, John F. Kennedy, Chris Farley, David Bowie, Prince, Gene Wilder, Corey Haim, Muhammed Ali, Kurt Cobain, Heath Ledger, John Candy, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Bruce Lee, Whitney Houston, Jim Morrison, River Phoenix, John Lennon, Aaliyah, Otis Redding, Michael Clarke Duncan, Paul Walker, Amy Winehouse, John Belushi, Ryan Dunn, Nate Dogg, Marilyn Monroe, Big L, Brittany Murphy, Heavy D and ‘The Ultimate Warrior‘ up there. However, rumor has it that Tupac Shakur and Michael Jackson may not be able to make the journey (ridiculous rumors). Rest in Peace to all those legends who passed away too soon. That would be quite the ‘Celebrity Dead Big Brother’ crew and imagine them up there, waking up and then colonizing a new earth.
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Here’s a list of 18 dead corpses ready for space.
Here’s a list of Stars’ that died too soon.
Skeeze Feature Photo Credit Pixbay