Hitler Liked Ass Hugger’s: Eva Braun’s Panties now Available at Auction

At Brainstain, we have to cover the downright “dirty laundry”, otherwise, nobody else will in quite the same way as we do, so, we continue to accrue a cult following of satirical news purveyors.  Not perverts!  But, we couldn’t let this one just slide by on the wayside, because this opens up a “Pandora’s Box” of endless jokes and snickering against the horrible evil of Adolf Hitler. We can’t believe this is news either, but, a pair of embroided ass huggers with Eva Braun’s initials, “EB”, have been safely preserved for 70 years by a US soldier, until later this week, when the British man who bought them from him, will auction them off to the highest bidder. The faded pink lace panties with white bow trim around the edges, in late 1930s style, is set to fetch up to four hundred and fifty pounds sterling at auction, unless a vicious bidding war between crusty panty raiders ensues. Whilst, this seems a bit sick, it is all the while entirely possible, making this truly the news of the day in bizarre niche news.

A cartoon copy of Eva Braun's underwear. OpenClipArt-Vectors Pixabay.

A copy of Eva Braun’s underwear. OpenClipArt-Vectors Pixabay.

Sure, some people like to collect postage stamps, some toy model trains, others, rare gold or silver coins, some even preserve dead insects, some guy apparently collects his own belly button fluff (here). FFS!

What’s wrong with him? But, this future auction might just float the boat of your totally average & sickly pantie collector. Here’s (read here) the lowdown on the presumed profile of will be waving their bids in the air that day.  Let’s call them underwear collectors’, just to be politically correct.

Any “Underwear Fetishist’s” who is a Neo-Nazi will be “foaming at the mouth” excited at the prospect of owning this piece of historically evil under garment.  This would be the holy grail of Christmas presents for any of those creepy f*****r’s. We tell no lies and some insider information informed the Daily Mail, that apart from a little wear and tear, here and there, they are still in a perfect organic state. Ewwww!

Sorry, people! This is the curious and bizarre news of today and we promise it will only get better as you read on. I mean, we have all heard of those college and university students that are students up to their ears in debt, so some begin working as strippers to balance the books and or piss off their parents, while some work overtime at their sturdy administrative office jobs or in the service industry for minimum wages, while some start selling drugs and prescription pharmaceuticals and some even put their asses’ online, while others just sell their used panties on E-bay. The struggle is real people! Here read this first Google hit that we found, an interview with two true panty pushers, making a killing with them panty raiders’.  Unbelievable, but it’s true y’all, so, if you got a pair of crusty underwear and you need an audience, there’s a niche market of creepy “mofo’s” out there that will pay you for your used underwear on E-Bay. Shudder!

Trash that mentality. OpenClipart-vectors Pixabay

Trash that mentality! OpenClipart-vectors Pixabay

Now back to Eva Braun’s underwear, which were found in an abandoned bunker of the ‘Platterhof Hotel’ next to Hitler’s home in the Bavarian Alps. A U.S. soldier presumably had a concealed whiff in circa 1945, then kept them as a souvenir, then the panties changed hands twice, ultimately ending up at this weeks auction in Malvern, Worcestershire, via a British collector of ‘militaria’.

Sophie Jones, a local auctioneer there, has insisted that the underwear are in a clean state for sale and so this eliminates any need to call in the cleaners or the Biohazard team from the AFO, Anti-Funk Organization. The same collector is also auctioning off Eva Braun’s red lipsticks’ engraved with “EB” on them, as well as a gold cluster ring surrounded by six rubies, which was also worn by Adolf Hitler’s wife, Eva.

These items were thought to have been found before Eva Braun and Adolf Hitler committed suicide after getting married in a Nazi bunker in Berlin, or just after he escaped into the night, highly aware of the Russian and approaching U.S. troops, hopping into a clandestine submarine, not surfacing until later disembarking at the coastline of Argentina (buy here). Hmmm? Don’t believe us?  Then please do take a look at this link here.

 

The Nazi's had a huge fleet of Submarines. Photo Credit Skeeze Piaxabay.

The Nazi’s had a huge fleet of Submarines. Photo Credit Skeeze Piaxabay.

 

This monster, the most-hated bigot-figure in recorded history, what would he think about someone auctioning off his wife’s underwear? We’re pretty sure he wouldn’t be too happy about it. So, while we may never find out for 110% certainty about Adolf Hitler’s final destination, ‘Argentina‘ or ‘Hell‘, but now at least you can own his wife’s panties. That is, if you’re into that sort of thing? We aren’t either, but this truly is bizarre and unsettling news.  Have you seen the film about the person who actually cracked the Nazi code? Buy here.

 

 

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