The Kardashian List of Male Casualties

So, the long list of Kardashian family-male casualties is yet again on the rise with Kanye West being checked into a mental health facility with the code ‘5150’ on his head. The latest casualty is indeed, Kim Kardashian’s husband, the infamous Kanye West, who was basically locked up in a Looney bin less than 48 hours ago, after his 40-minute on stage tirade against Beyoncé & Jay-Z, saying that he was “hurt” that they never called him! “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

Kanye

Kanye here in happier days.

Maybe, he forgot that like them, like him, like all of them, they’re all apart of the same celebrity cult; that obviously didn’t take too well to what he was saying on that stage. Hmmm? So, what happened? They locked him in restraints and put him in a padded cell somewhere. So, Kanye has said some outlandish things and stepped on some toes, but it hardly compares to the track record that the Kardashian (buy here) ladies have in making their men seemingly lose their minds completely. Oh yes, we have a comprehensive and quick outline of all the ostracized men who have come in contact with the Kardashian family. Here goes:

Ray-J who threw his manhood on the crap table and inadvertedly helped launch Kim Kardashian’s career with a tasteless celebrity sex video. He has since then hung out with Whitney Houston (she died) and now is only friends with Chris Brown, basically. Did he have a new song out today? Who cares?

Rewind to 1995, O.J. Simpson was the killer of his wife, Nicole Brown, but he was great friends with Robert Kardashian Snr. and also had sex with Kris (an affair), birthing a daughter called Khloe. That hanky-panky was not common knowledge, but it’s been revealed since then that O.J. is in fact, the birth father of Khloe Kardashian. So, where is O.J. today after being acquitted of that murder? He is in a prison somewhere. We bet O.J. wishes that he never met the Kardashians’, don’t you?

Robert Kardashian Jnr. Had to grow up amongst five sisters’ and TV cameras, later he fell into depression combined with anxiety related eating problems, following all the KUWTK fame. He was resorted to a noble man’s sock line, as he continues to live with these clearly “mad” sisters and at least he gave them a big “F-U” in having a baby with Blac Chyna called “Dream”, so now this his own sisters’ worst nightmare happening in real time. Fair play, Rob, fair play!

That marriage almost worked out. We were sad to see him go.

That marriage almost worked out. We were truly sad to see him go.

Kris Humphries is or was a talented basketball player, who now plays for the Atlanta Hawks, who also starred on Keeping Up With The Kardashian’s and even got married to Kim, but later got the hell out of dodge after only 72 hours. We guess, that he finally saw the light!

Lamar Odom was a distinguished basketball player for the LA Lakers, until he met Khloe Kardashian. They married in 2009 and were considered the stable partnership in the family. However, it didn’t take long for marriage problems to arise and Lamar was found in the ‘Bunny Ranch’ in Nevada, completely strung out on crack, having sex with lots of bunnies and then suffering brain damage, as a result. It’s very sad. We bet he wishes that he never married into the family. After his Kardashian union, his basketball career fell apart and the rest of the disaster came down like a row of dominos in quick succession.

Scott Disick, the father to Kourtney’s children, has had an on and off again relationship with her for as long as we can remember. He has of course been allowed to play the field and we are not surprised at how many times that he has tried to get out of this Kardashian mess. His cocaine use and partying seems completely justified here. If we were him, we would definitely be resigned to do the exact same thing. You betcha’, we’d even sprinkle it on our corn flakes in the morning just to get through till lunchtime. We totally understand this guy and how much he has really had to put up with being tied to this family of Kardashian women. Now, they’re reportedly getting back together again and perhaps having another baby. Thank god for that break they had! Very clever, indeed.

Before Caitlin, there was "Bruce". We have to admit that she looks much better today.

Before Caitlin, there was “Bruce”. We have to admit that she looks much better today.

Bruce Jenner, the stepfather to Rob, Khloe, Kourtney, Kim and father to Kylie and that other Kardashian girl, we forget her name, you know, the least annoying one. But anyway, what we didn’t forget was to highlight the fact that Bruce, after being inundated with female hormones around him on the daily for so many years, decided to become Caitlin Jenner and proceed to become an actual woman instead. Yes, a full public sex change in the media was the only thing he could do, perhaps, to level the playing field? Anyways, he looks great now and we’re happy that he’s finally happy. But, we are beginning to see a pattern of men driven to the brink of sanity and also a pattern of them questioning their lives in the Kardashian Klan.

So, what to think now of Kanye West? This is a never-ending story and we’re afraid that he might never recover from this one. We’re sure that even the Kardashian women must be wondering what the hell they have done wrong to produce such amazing results from the men that they have married, encountered or had kids with?

God bless those that managed to escape the madness early on like Kris Humphries, Reggie Bush, Gabriel Aubry, Miles Austin, Nick Cannon and Damon Thomas, all of whom dated or were together with Kim Kardashian, at some point. Just think that today, any of them could be locked up in a padded cell and or could be caught smoking crack or meth inside a halfway house in downtown LA, if they hadn’t pulled a great escape from Kim Kardashian from very early on. Let’s objectively keep monitoring this situation as we hope for a speedy Kanye West recovery, very soon. Brainstain over and out!

 

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