JUST EAT: Releasing Robots For Delivery

Just a couple days ago, we wrote about that “Smart Washing Machine” from Electrolux, that you could link to an app, so that people from the street or perhaps even your lovely neighbor, could with a touch of a button, just pop-by and do their dirty laundry in your washing machine, so that you can earn some spare shrapnel for your bank account. But today, in other tech ideas gone awry, there’s Just Eat, a perfectly good food delivery service app, that’s now unleashing what they believe to be a great idea. What is this brilliant idea?

Just Eat has just started testing out self-driving delivery robots on the streets of London this week. Please watch the video here.

The first customer was Greenwich resident ‘Simone’, who ordered from her local Turkish restaurant ‘Taksim Meze’ and she was surprised to find a robot delivering the food.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened the door to find a robot waiting to greet me. It was like something out of a movie,” she said.

Lovely, isn’t? Simone added, “It is really incredible to think that this kind of technology and service is now available. It was very efficient and actually texted me when it pulled up. The only thing I wasn’t sure of is whether or not to tip!”

Simone really pulled together a good joke there (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). But, what’s even funnier is how Just Eat expects this little Robot-Droid-Rover to actually work in the long term. Not because Starship Technologies, established by the co-founders of Skype, haven’t designed a brilliant robot to do the job, but because of their general cluelessness of what would happen to one of these little “f**kers” on any given delivery, let’s say in places like, ‘Peckham’, ‘Brixton’, ‘Tottenham’, ‘Stratford and New Town’, ‘Croydon’, ‘Finsbury Park, ‘Caledonian Rd’, ‘Dalston’, ‘Hackney’, Barking, Clapham, Bethnal Green, Canning Town, Harlesden, Lewisham, and even bloody Mansion House.

What would be left of this little “f**cking” rover would be absolutely nothing, not the food, not even the wheels for “Christ Sake”. It will all be gone, mark our words, even the wires within it, disappear. This will turn into a very expensive option for Just Eat, more than let’s say your human delivery driver. This new happy & giddy little robot isn’t gonna’ make it home, not by a long shot.

Photo Credit: Peggy_Marco

We prefer the motorbike, right? Photo Credit: Peggy_Marco

If you need to be assured by this, then please re-watch the video up top and imagine it trying to circumnavigate around a gang of teenage thugs, with “f**k all” to do in the evenings and plus they’re feeling really hungry, as well. Yes, your pizza or that hot Indian takeaway is not going to make it. It’s like a Kinder Egg surprise for these kids, what on earth is inside this one, they’ll think?

According to the makers of this droid that travels all on its own, un-aided and automatically, luckily humans can still jump in and take control of the robot remotely, at any time, should anything go wrong. Re-assuring, right?

But, what about when somebody slashes it’s tires and then proceeds kicking the living bejesus out of it, right in the figurative face of this robot. Then what will happen, hmm? Did they factor this into the equation, before the pizza and or kebab is “knicked” from right inside its storage compartment? We don’t think they did. Not even a camera pointed at some youth’s face, would stop such a thing ever happening, we’re afraid.

But for now, admittedly if you live in Greenwich, then you might be encountering a R2D2 type rover looking thing, holding your takeaway. Excuse us, but whatever happened to just relying on people for a change? It does still seem like the safer bet, right? Everyone is trying to make it out, that we are ready for robots and such impractical things in the face of today’s technology, but this is what we like to call “tech gone mad” over here at Brainstain. Good luck with that little-neat Robot idea.


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Download the ‘Just Eat’ app here. As they do really have some great food on the menu.

Featured Photo Credit: Gooking Sword – Pixabay

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