Brangelina Brexit: Angelina Jolie Coming to the UK

In the biggest story of 2016, which we like to call “Brangelina Brexit” here at Brainstain, it saw Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie commence divorce proceedings at the start of the Fall season. But, in all seriousness, the snootiness and the sense of morale high ground is what is really catching our interest here, as it is revealed that Angelina Jolie intends on moving to London to pursue a dream position at the United Nations. Of course, Angelina has already been a ‘Special Envoy’ to the UN over the years, but she believes a move to London will gain her the upper hand in any future role at the organization. But, she won’t be coming alone, as she will bring her six kids with her in the proposed move, plus her two Political advisors.

Yes, Brad Pitt did notice when William Hague’s former colleagues, Amrika Helic, 48 and Chloe Dalton, 37, seemingly infiltrated their marriage. Angelina had hired them for 300,000 GBP a year to advise on her public image. Three times the amount they received from William Hague. We suppose that when Hague can’t afford it, Angelina (buy) can and then some, added on top of that.

Brad Pitt (buy) later described the two women as always travelling with them as a family, and subsequently brainwashing Angelina, which also caused some epic household fights at their London residence. Brad and Angelina had always made decisions together, now it was Angelina and her “coven” as Brad had described it, that were now making her life decisions for her. So, it should come as no surprise that their goal is to steer Angelina Jolie into a career of Politics. This is after all a much different game to acting and Angelina would surely slide into some sort of speaking role in the near future at the United Nations. After Angelina saw her now best friend, Lady Amrica Helic, be admitted to the House of Lords in 2014, it probably got Angelina thinking and plotting a whole bunch of things for the year of 2017.


There was distance between them at ‘The Maleficent’ premiere.

Since the Fall, we’ve seen some clearly dirty political tactics of character assassination arise at the expense of Brad Pitt by first claiming he was abusive to their adopted 15 year old son Maddox aboard a long-haul flight from France to the U.S., to even claims that Brad Pitt often used drugs and to even a media outcry of plausible child abuse being investigated by the FBI against him. Come on?! Really?! Dirty, dirty media politics, move of lies.

However, all these dirty tricks seemed to fade away, perhaps when Angelina came to her senses just a tiny bit. However, she is making Brad perform four pissing drug tests a month and other ridiculous things in order just for him to keep seeing her six children with an accompanied counselor. That’s the power of dirty politics and surely the Maddox incident was just a trigger that Angelina could use to start her grand plan of becoming somebody really self-important for everybody else to take notice of and see. Anyway, it surely wasn’t the first time a powerful woman had used her kids against her husband, to get what she wants and it certainly won’t be the last.

So, in starting by getting rid of Brad Pitt because he would obviously be in the way of her burgeoning Political career, especially according to Hague’s former advisors, she could then go ahead with her next plotted move for a Political career. Now, it’s about moving to London.

In more recent “Brangelina-Brexit” news, apparently a Therapist from Encino, CA, will now decide if Brad will even be allowed to see his kids. Yes, a man called Ian Russ will make the all-important decision, but both Angelina and Brad have both reportedly signed up to do some family group therapy. So far, there’s not been a single session of that kind to yet occur. Angelina still has primary care of the six children.

If we were Brad Pitt, we would be very tired by now and probably would just be enjoying spending time with people that weren’t bat shit crazy, like Angelina Jolie apparently is. So, we weren’t surprised to hear that he’s been finding comfort with Kate Hudson recently. If she’s anything like Goldie Hawn, then he should be in for a peaceful, easy-going and positive time. He might even enjoy himself, you could say.

We also wonder what sort of a man would marry Angelina Jolie and or ever consider step-fathering six kids, with two political witches, as well? It’s tough enough to be a step dad to one, let alone six of them, so this should be an interesting thing to keep an eye on in the near future. However, we feel that Angelina has enough support from these two mysterious ladies in her life, plus we heard that Billy Bob Thornton is hovering around like a vulture following on from ‘Bad Santa 2’ (buy), plus seriously “Sauvage” actor, fresh from domestic violence fame, Johnny Depp, who might just be insane enough to take this deal and see it for what it really is, amongst the recent reports that they’re both currently having a fling of some kind. Which wouldn’t be too far off center following on from their incredibly corny and awkward film, ‘The Tourist’.

Here you can watch that Angelina ego fest “By The Sea”, which foreshadowed that this was going to happen, all along. Buy & Download it here. Brainstain, over and out.  


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Featured Photo Credit: MIH83 – Pixabay

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