Let’s face it, more often than not New Year’s Eve turns out to be a countdown to nothing, absolute nothingness, in fact it’s usually anti-climactic.
You’re either counting down to palpable loneliness, an unfulfilled night, a regret or two, or three? Or just a feeling of melancholy and depression, as you’re sat perched in your local rundown bar, where the queue to get a drink is miles long and it reeks of piss poor service. How to even have a good time here? It’s just way too loud and cramped, I mean annoyingly loud and painfully cramped. Hopefully, you didn’t need to pay to get into this place on a New Year’s Eve?
So much expectation and social conformity are placed on us to ‘’live it up’’ on a day where Taxi’s charge extraordinary prices, just so you can go to bed at 7am, hungover and alone, while the remains of that dodgy late night fast food laying dormant in your room. All you want to do is vegetate in your bedroom and play video games whilst eating last night’s left over Pizza, yet here you are surrounded by the worst of what humankind can offer.
New Year’s Eve is a marketing ploy to convince you to part with your hard earned minimum wage cash just so you can feel apart of something ‘’special’’, yes, that ‘’special’’ feeling normally leaving you broke and regretting it, the very next day. So, it’s New Year’s Eve, you have to pay extra money for these mundane ‘’special’’ experiences too. I mean, who exactly wants to pay £50 to stand in the middle of a crowded room like a squashed sardine in a sardine can, alone and clutching a glass of overpriced champagne, while plastered friends and intoxicated strangers have a repulsive make out session at midnight in a darkened out corner underneath cheap balloons and confetti, because they are desperate to not miss out on something.
New Year’s Eve can be that sad realisation that you are lonely and single and that nobody loves you. It’s a time of deep reflection more often than not, listing your many failures, socially awkward and embarrassing moments and even regrets of an uneventful and another miserable year gone by. The sound of glasses clinking and people smooching are only 10 seconds away as the inevitable countdown begins. Hooraay!
Looking around to see who you can predictably screech “happy new year’’ to at the top of your lungs, whilst realising that many are coupled up and that you are all alone, very very alone. But, are they really all happy or is it because they’re drunk and just going through those ‘New Year’s Eve’ motions?
And, what of those New Year resolutions that you pledge to make every year? New Year, new you and you will find love and blissful happiness with the significant other of your dreams. No! You will go on ridiculously bad dates, complete with mandatory awkward silences, set your hopes high and your dreams will be all but shattered, all the while, dealing with a conveyor belt of “Fuck boys & Fuck girls” that will place themselves in your existence for a little while, and then leave even more abruptly when you both realise that this app dating culture is an absolute joke!
It will be a feeling of déjà vu when New Year’s Eve 2017 rolls up on us. Similar to last year, you might say? Same crusty bar, same sweaty people surrounding you and sipping the same overpriced “Freixenet” style champagne served warm, that tastes of cat’s piss, all the while hoping that 2018, might just bring you even more luck and prosperity than 2017 and that finally you will discover the love of your life. Somehow, if you live in England or in the USA, this seems all the while highly unlikely. Perhaps, it all happens on vacation or where we can see some sun, at the very least?
Yeah, and Hillary Clinton will be President in 2020. We thought we’d throw that in for good measure. So, please look forward to that ever happening in only just four more New Years Eve’s…
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: pixabay