What is a F*ckBoy?
Urban Dictionary: A person who is a weak ass p*ssy that ain’t ’bout shit. (e.g.) look at that weak ass f*ck boy. Thank you, Urban Dictionary. We weigh in on this modern day term and it’s up to you, how you feel about it?
So, the psychological anatomy of the typical F*ckboy ranges from being dishonest, undependable, fraudulent, and deceitful and an absolute disgrace of a human being. The bane of humanity if you will and the very essence of despicable and disloyal in general terms. F*ckboys are the definition of ‘disappointment’ and they will let you down at every opportunity possible. F*ckboys appear just like regular guys that you meet online, initially charming, friendly and the type of suitor you could potently take home to meet your mom. He is sweet, enduring, and complimentary and will make you feel like the only person in the world, in fact he will make you feel like the centre of his universe. In the beginning stages of dating you will have an incredible connection, similar interests and you may even find yourself sharing the same political views and he won’t run a mile when you announce that you are slightly right wing, yet democratic and that you support Donald Trump, which doesn’t mean that you are racist or any of those labels, that have been flung around this year. This is only common sense, right?
But, gradually the true colours of the “F-Boy” will begin to show and those rose tinted glasses you had etched on your eye sockets will start to crack. That once amazing chemistry might soon fade to black and the long conversations into the early hours will soon grow awkwardly silent. That once attentive guy, has now slipped up, his mask and disguise have been identified and you are left flabbergasted, astonished and heartbroken at the realisation that he was indeed, just a “F*ckboy”.
The problem with modern dating is that there are just too many of them and many of them work diligently to make sure that they don’t seem like a vacuous mind, right off the bat. This is that smoke and mirrors, indeed. People appear how they want you to perceive them online and they can paint a picture, which is both misleading, duplicitous and even a treacherous lie. So with that in mind; how do you know how to filter through the perfidious swamp of Tinder, POF, OKCupid and all the other soulless dating apps and spot a F*ckboy through the pretentious filtered photos and their misleading profiles?
Here is the survival guide on how to avoid a “F*ckboy” and the traits you should look out for when stepping into the menacing and ominous realm of online dating, whilst remember that it’s a jungle out there and only the strongest and wisest won’t get effed’ over by a F*ckboy
Step One – Knowing a F*ckboys true intentions
A “F*ckboy” has multiple ways into which he operates. You could be but one of trillions of people that he is talking to, evaluating your worth against his many other options, all the while seductively leading you on with the promise of potentially decent relationship. While other F-boys simply want to “smash and run” basically meaning to “wham bam and thank you m’am”, this applies to both dating pools when it comes to the so-called F-boys. His dating profile will state that he is looking for a relationship, yet the truth is far more sinister and less Disney fairy-tale happy ever after ending, after all. Remember, every empty and meaningless word that utters out of that mouth could be a complete lie and every action has a a sly and alternative motive.
Step Two – F*ckboys cannot offer you communication commitment
Do you require constant communication, reinsurance and validation? Well, don’t expect that from a F*ckboy. One minute you could be having the most engaging and stimulating conversation and the next minute, it will be complete and utter silence as if he has died a horrendously painful death from within (wishful thinking). The uncertainty of this hot and cold approach will haunt you and your emotions, so you will be drained and you will be left a shivering, paranoid and anxious wreck. F-boys operate like a theft in the night, lurking in the darkened shadows, waiting to devour its prey before crawling back into the blackness from which they came. He’ll disappear for days without you hearing from him, and when he finally resurfaces he offers no explanation, like it’s perfectly normal and acceptable behaviour. You never know quite where you stand with a F-boy. It takes literally 2.5 seconds to message somebody in a 24 hour day, where in a modern day society a person can be reached through social media so easily, including via the old school phone, or with WhatsApp, IMessage (Thanks Apple), to the old fashioned text message, Facebook social media (Thanks Facebook), stamped letter by post and perhaps even by medieval pigeon messenger, or through a ‘Message in a Bottle’ (Thanks ‘The Police & Sting‘); so basically if somebody wants to speak to you, they can! So, why can’t a f*ckboy pop up and just ask you how your day is going? Do you know why? It’s because he doesn’t want to, that’s why.
Step Three – A F*ckboy is literally full of lame excuses
“F*ckboys” are emotionally immature and immune to feelings, basically they have no soul left. When you ask them, “what’s up?” They over-explain why they have been so busy and offer specific details like, “Hey! Just been super busy with this work presentation’’. Yeah right! F*ckboys don’t like confrontation and they will act overly stupid and surprised when you bring to their attention that you have not heard from them for two days straight. Do not be fooled by their tedious reasons as to why they did not respond to your WhatsApp messages, since the reality is that they have their phone attached to them like a brain tumour, but have simply chosen to read and ignore your message. You are not of any significance in their inconsiderate existence because their lack of communication is all the proof you need.
Step Four – Knowing that you are but one of many
A ‘F-Boys’ phone is constantly blowing up with notifications, Snapchat videos and texts from other prospects. They have profiles on virtually every dating site and they will be signed into ‘Plenty of Fish’ and ‘Tinder’ all the time. When confronted with the realisation that you know that they are always online, they reply back with pathetic and lame excuses ranging from ‘’I wasn’t aware I was online. My phone must have automatically signed in’’ to ‘’I reply to everyone online, but you are the only person I’m actually interested in and that actually has my phone number’’. The truth is though, you are not the only one. You are but one of many options as the “F-boy” weighs out his endless possibilities of excuses. Remember, they don’t call it the dating game for nothing. You are in constant competition with other thirsty and desperate rivals all vowing for the attention of the F*ckboy, and he knows this and he adores this bidding war for his time and affections. However, if someone generally does like you, they will talk to you and only you. You should never have to compete for someone’s time or attention. Perhaps, it’s time to move on?
Step Five – A F*ck Boy has no respect for you
An F*ckboy will open up the ‘Ex-files’ way too prematurely and in the process unleash a wave of jealously, envy and anger as he lists the number of notches on his bedpost, while you are left in stunned silence. It is not acceptable to discuss ex’s, previous dates or past conquests, yet a “F*ckboy” will be oblivious to common courtesy, respect and manners. A F*ckboy will get way too freaky, way too early and they want to know every nook and cranny of what turns you on in the bedroom department, even before you reach that destination. Ahem! He will want naked photos, dirty talk and pretty much an orgasm, before the pair of you have even met for your first date. Beware; a true gentleman will never talk sex or ex’s before you have even met them.
Step Six – F*ckboys are cheap dates
Don’t expect to go to a 5 star gourmet restaurant and be wined and dined with a three course dinner and a bottle of wine. F-boys are notoriously cheap and have no understanding of culture, romance and they have a lot of maturing and growing up to do. And, I don’t mean growing in the gym. Expect to be sitting on a park bench in the blitzing cold and eating greasy fast-food, wishing you were anywhere else but there. They don’t like to spend their own money. That’s a cheap date.
Step Seven – F*ckboys refuse to be accountable for their own actions
F-boys cannot stand being told the truth about their shady personalities and their lack of manners and common decency. If you call out a “F-boy” on his behaviour, he will do the mental acrobatics to make you out to be the bad person in this whole situation. He will make you out to be “crazy” and a “psycho”; stating that he gives you all his time and he will act shocked and offended that you could possibly dare to question his true intentions. Some “F-boys” may even ghost you, meaning they will erase you with a simple click of the block button, in the process disregarding any feelings or hurt you may feel as a result of their cowardly actions. The truth hurts and “F-boys” do not deal too kindly with the truth, so be prepared to be ghosted and or be painted in a dismissive light, as a stark raving lunatic, all because you called him out on his “F-boy f*ckery”.
Dating is hard; there is no two ways about it. You will get hurt, maybe emotionally crippled sometimes and you might lose all self-confidence in the process. In a generation that is just a swipe away in meeting someone new, a F*ckboy makes it that little bit harder in meeting genuine people with sincere intentions. In summary, people are not always who they say they are and their intentions are not always what they claim. Keep your wits about you; a F*ckboy will always be a F*ckboy.
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Image Credit: Pexels – Pixabay