The 10 Annoying Traits Of A Cyclist

Ahh, Cyclists, the bane of the road. They are often loathed, despised and often ridiculed by motorists and pedestrians alike, when they see those tight lycra short wearing inconveniences that have no regard for road safety, manners and just about anything around them.

This goes for every cyclist, whether on personal bicycle, a city sponsored bicyclist or to the worst of them all, a high speeding and aggressive bicycle courier. Sure, they might claim they are so green and are saving the world from emissions, but they are also causing numerous dangerous situations out there. Here are the 10 annoying traits of a Cyclist, put your helmet on, this is going to be a bumpy ride.

  1. Cyclists who don’t stop at the red traffic signal

Why do cyclists not feel the need to stop at the red light traffic? Do they feel they are immune to road safety and traffic sign regulations? Are they above the rules of the road? A typically oblivious cyclist whizzes past a red light with little thought or concern, with a usual shameless lack of road etiquette, then often times blaming it on the driver. Just because you ride a bicycle and wear tight lycra shorts, it does not mean that you are above the law. You might even get hit by a car, if you’re not careful.

  1. Cyclists who make pedestrians wait

Picture the scene, you are a pedestrian itching to cross the road, it is still a green light with no oncoming traffic, you follow the morally obligated road safety of ‘stop, look both ways’ and you evaluate that there are no cars in-coming. You are free and safe to cross the road, but hold on, is that a cyclist peddling down the street, so, do you chance it and cross to the other side or do you wait for the cyclist to pass you? They are equally apart of the road, after all and it is still a green light. But, waiting for a cyclist to peddle past you is like waiting to win the lottery, you know that day will never come and so you hopelessly wait, and wait, and wait. Hopeless.

  1. Cyclists who ride on the pavement

In contrast, there are a lot of fast idiots who ride bicycles too and they refuse to use bicycle lanes, even when they exist just specifically for them. Why, just why? Is the road and especially made bicycle lanes not sufficient enough for cyclists, that they feel the need to invade vulnerable pedestrian walking space, safety and almost knock you off your feet as they speed past you. Pedestrians have rights too, you know? This is the classic bicycle courier stereotype in all major cities.

  1. Cyclists are really dangerous!

While Cyclists may envision themselves to be eco-friendly flash superheroes that are saving the planet with each pedal that they take, the fact of the matter is cyclists are dangerous; they are a traffic hazard and will hinder your morning journey to work or quite frankly just be a general nuisance to your very existence. Ever experienced driving a car, being stuck behind a cyclist on a road?! Then you will know what dying a slow and painful death feels like. Should I pass them now?! Or later?

  1. Cyclists think they own the road

They take up the entire lane, whilst, righteous and honourable car drivers are trying to not hit them. We’re just trying to get to work on time, whilst also having to pay attention to the often unattractive backside of a sweaty cyclist, as they either pedal along at 4 miles an hour, or suddenly decide to take a hard right across your driven path, right out into the middle of the road. Cyclists don’t own the road, but they will always act like they do.

  1. Cyclists are just smug and really annoying

The common associations of a cyclist are somewhere between a liberal leftie eco warrior, donned in lycra and with a silly helmet, to a shorts wearing egotistical hipster, complete with a hideous beard, piercings, ear spacers’ and a bad attitude.  They show a complete disregard for anyone but themselves. Cyclists don’t do themselves any favours with their vulgar finger pointing and those curse words, when cars narrowly miss them, huffing and puffing that society is against them and with that, they will not be winning any popularity contests, anytime soon.

  1. Cyclists who don’t look where they are going

Oh, was that an old lady clutching her walking stick that you just narrowly missed at that crossing, back there? Oh, did you not see the driver parked up on the side of the road, about to swing open the door and leave their vehicle, as you narrowly escaped being splattered by a car door and left to wither like deer roadkill? Cyclists are not mindful and so unconcerned of their surroundings, that they will end up hurting themselves or end up hurting somebody else, at one point or another. Then they will abruptly complain, whine and perhaps try to even sue you in the process.

  1. Cyclists think they are better than everyone else

Cyclists think that they are doing a noble deed by cycling and by not driving a vehicle, or even by jumping on public transport, they genuinely believe that they are saving the planet with one bicycle at a time. In reality, the only thing they are saving is their guilty conscience, burning calories is one thing with a coffee holder etched onto your bike handle, with your skinny “Frappuccino” dripping all over the place, a green peace social warrior, you are not! Less peddle and sip, and more paying attention to the road, please!

  1. Cyclists are more prone to road accidents

Here’s an interesting statistic, 19,000 cyclists are killed or injured in road accidents in the UK each year, not to mention across the whole world. Just in 2016 alone, there were 123 registered cycling fatalities on the public highway involving cyclists, ranging from incidents such as collisions with cars, hitting trees and road sign, and even some losing control during epileptic fits. Cyclists need to understand that their little bikes are not steel plated war machines; they are not as invincible as they would like to think, and that little helmet will not save you every time.

  1. Cyclists Stereotypical Sense of Dress 

Cycling doesn’t have the equivalent of a red carpet, but why do many cyclists commit serious fashion felonies’? I mean, what is up with those tight lycra shorts? Is it the need for speed? And, ear spacers’, why? Is it something you need on your CV, in order to be a fully fledged bicycle courier?

Story by Michael Lee

Featured Photo Credit: Suloka – Pixabay



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