It’s that age-old question that has baffled everyone at some point in their lives and it is something which still causes enormous bewilderment across the world, “where does the missing sock go?” It’s already confused scientists, doctors, philosophers and every type of human since the marvellous invention of ‘socks’ way back in the 8th Century BC. Seemingly, at one time or another, one sock will most definitely go missing and all you’re left with is half of a working pair of socks. Ancient astronaut theorists were not available for comment, but we’ve sent them a philosophy request on this never-ending mystery which continues to trouble mankind. Let’s hope we hear from them soon.
There’s always one sock that disappears, like a runaway teenager, but never two of them vanishing together at the same time, like a run from the law like Bonnie and Clyde, and if so, they’re most definitely on your wanted list. You would want those socks back, wouldn’t you? You get what we mean? It’s always just that one damn sock that simply vanishes. So, once again, where does this sock go?
A relatively wise girl once told us, that they go to “sock heaven” and this may very well be true, because where else would they be? Imagine the scene in sock heaven, all the lost and split up socks in a place where they all can be together, forever. Severed from their noteworthy other, but they found their happy place, up in heaven, perhaps? It’s a nice thought…
It makes you feel better about the irritating notion and sometimes even sad reality of your missing sock. No matter the color, whether they’re black, blue, grey, white or even pink socks, they just all go missing at some point.
Now, what do you do with that one heartbroken sock, that’s left over? Some people tirelessly search for that other sock for a very-long time, until they just give up. It’s nowhere to be found. Then, what do you do?
Do you simply throw the other sock away? It’s still a perfectly good sock, no tears, no holes, and no irreparable damage.
Some people have avoided the irritation of searching for that missing sock and have put the split up socks, into a pile of single socks. A quite large and increasing pile of divorced socks, you could say. One day, they might just be reunited, you could think? Much to the joy of your feet, if this were to ever happen in reality.
But, for some socks this might never be the case, and as that old saying goes, “everything happens for a reason”, right? Perhaps, that one sock was tired of being worn out, so it just decided it was time to separate and one day just get up and leave. That sock had truly had enough of being worn.
Some people try to approach the mystery with only logic, you know those people with only a logical side of the brain? They might blame the cat or even the family dog, the one with that incurable taste for socks, even though, it’s usually rubbery shoes that they like to chew on. “Did you eat my sock little buddy, huh?!” Poor doggy…
Stop blaming the dog! Other times, that person of only logic may suggest that it’s been lost inside the washing machine? Really? “But, I already checked”.
No, no, these clever people, they have done their research and found out through logical research that on those newer washing machines, there’s that rubbery ring near the door, where potentially your sock might have ended up? Yes, stuck in the in-between, under the layer of this truly tight and rubbery space? So, they jam their hand in there and you know what? Sometimes, they do find it.
They’re very happy that they were right this time. They feel vindicated that their logical brain had all the answers once again, as if ever only having to turn to recorded science and what’s inside textbooks, as their only reasons for truth in this world. Hmmm? Can this logical person also be confused for a “pessimist”, at other times? If they were ever to be counselled on other matters of mystery and things not in textbooks? Seemingly, if it’s not in a textbook from the 1970’s, then it’s not true, according to your very average logical person.
Usually, they don’t find it in there at all, anyway. So, what happens when the sock isn’t within that rubbery ring? Then, where the hell did the sock go? They may blame their partner.
“Honey, where’s my other sock?! I’m already late for work!”
A roll of the eyes usually follows this occurrence, from your significant other, because everyone knows the severity of the missing sock situation, especially at the very wrong moment. It can be disastrous! It’s admittedly hard for another person to take all this in, which is completely understandable. So, it’s usually answered with, “Keep track of your own damn socks!”
And, before you know it, you are at odds with each other, over an odd sock. Truly, this sucks!
Why can’t your socks just stick together? We have no idea, but maybe they’re just tired of each other, why else would they split up like that?
Perhaps, it’s under the bed? It’s within your sheets, somewhere? Or is it stuck in between the cushions of your sofa? Or maybe, you left it behind at some party, that you went to? Hmm?
What can you do? You can be determined to re-unite the pair of socks or you could also go out and get a new pair, or even just mismatch your socks with an old one, like Pippi Longstocking did. Sacrilege? Or clever girl?
Getting a pair of new socks, that would be the logical thing to do, as they are nowhere to be found. It’s a sad reality that a person has to eventually learn to cope with; whether you like it or not?
Or you could just wait until that rogue sock decides to mysteriously re-appear again?
Grab a new pair and carry on with your life, perhaps? But, for the sock that never ever re-appears, where did it go? Did it really go to sock heaven, as some continue to claim?
Ancient Astronaut theorists have suggested the plausible legend of the ‘Sock Fairy’, an ancient female Pixie-Elf of sorts, who’s folklore presence has existed since the invention of socks in 8th century BC, when socks first began to mysteriously disappear. The ‘Sock Fairy’ is said to garner its energy from collecting socks and playing little mischievous tricks on sock wearers’ since the beginning of their existence.
We’ve lost a sock just only recently, one of a pair of black socks, that have seemingly broken up, you know, the kind that you use in the evenings or even in the daytime? But, has it turned up, yet?
No, it still hasn’t appeared, after searching high and low, it’s yet another sock mystery. This time, we decided to pick up another pair of socks and try not to stress out about that missing sock.
But, what’s even more disturbing is that the one sock that was still left over, the lonely sock, this sock has now also vanished. We forgot to put it in the divorced sock pile.
It only took a few days, until that one spare sock was completely gone too. Conspiracy? We think so. Sock fairy, perhaps? One thing is for sure; they’ve gone to sock heaven.
<Story by The Narrator>
Featured Photo Credit: Umcao – Pixabay