Swing Voters are Still Waiting on Madonna’s Blowjobs

With only five days to go until President Elect Donald Trump is inaugurated on January 20th 2017, in Washington D.C. this Friday, many so-called swing voters are still upset and they feel left “high and dry” by Madonna’s promises of blow jobs in exchange for their Hillary Clinton votes.

The Queen of Pop “Madonna” had made a clear promise of “Oral Sex” for anyone that would vote for Hillary, right before introducing Amy Schumer at Madison Square Garden on October 18th 2016. Since then, Amy Schumer has stated that she won’t leave the country, despite saying that she would leave the U.S.A, in the event of Donald Trump becoming president. Madonna has since not began a tour of giving head (BJ’s) as yet, so subsequently, what about all those swing voters that were tempted by her words, and did put an “X” in Hillary’s box?

So, we decided to catch up with some of them, as their voices truly need to be heard. Phil Johnson, 21, from Punxsutawney, PA, a State College student, who was leaning towards Trump because of his many strong policies, but changed his mind after seeing Madonna’s promise, and he casted his vote accordingly. Phil was left devastated when he realized that Madonna seemingly wouldn’t honor her statement, he said. “I feel that at least, I should get a phone call from her, or even an apology”. When asked if he ever thought that he would get his promise fulfilled, Phil said, “It doesn’t look like it, does it?” Mr. Johnson now sees no use in waiting, unless he hears from her very soon, “She didn’t need to lie to me” he said, whilst holding his ballot stub in his hand, as if it were some kind of receipt of Madonna’s promise. Phil has since sought counseling and has been prescribed Prozac for his troubles. His own family are ashamed, even disappointed that he would cast a vote for Hillary Clinton because of something so trivial as a “blow job”, even from Madonna. They were unavailable for comment, but we had to go with what Phil told us.

Dexter Richardson, a Computer Programmer, 26, from Sedona, Arizona, his family are big Trump supporters, yet, Dexter went against his own political stance in hope of getting his first ever blow job. Dexter who’s still “like a virgin”, thought that if he could get a great start with Madonna’s helping hands, that he would definitely vote in any way that he could, to get himself off the mark, so to speak. Dexter said, “I’ve never had a girlfriend and when I saw Madonna’s speech, I knew what I had to do.” Dexter’s father, even though he’s upset at his son for voting for Hillary Clinton, he’s glad that it didn’t make a difference in the end. He has since forgiven him and he intends to take his son to Las Vegas in the near future in order to rectify this whole issue. Dexter also said, “Madonna shouldn’t do things like that. After Trump won the election, I made numerous calls trying to speak with her. But, nobody would connect me. I was just wondering if my vote still counted or not”.

Obviously, it’s another heart crushing story that just won’t go away. We shook hands with Dexter and his father and we said that Las Vegas sounded like a good idea. We were on our merry way again, but we weren’t quite finished yet.

We had received a letter from Tanya Wordinger, 31, and we drove out to see her in Baker, CA, and wondered how this whole Madonna debacle had affected her. She was apparently born a man, she looked very attractive and all dolled up when we dropped by to see her. She then told us that she was a “transgender woman” and on this very rainy day, it was truly unclear as to what was going to happen next. We sat and listened to her, she was perplexed, as were we at first, not in that she  was a humongous Madonna fan throughout the years, but just how far reaching Madonna’s promises had gone and seemingly affected so many people in the country. We were saddened to hear Tanya’s story and understood the complications of her issues with Madonna not following through on her promise. We understood her gender issue and with enough problems on the daily, then without having to factor and consider the problem at the voting booth, and just how her concerns about whether she would ever even meet Madonna now, were sort of driving her to a kind of depression of sorts. Tanya said “I don’t even know if should keep listening to her music. Every time I play it, it makes me feel sad and I just want to cry”. This made us sad too, very sad, as Madonna’s music is something usually very special to so many people, so we listened and listened, then at the end, we gave Tanya a big hug and told her not to give up. “Never give up hope,” we told her.

Photo Credit: TheAsianPost

On the contrary, in Italy, Paola Saulino, an actress and model, had made a public promise of blow jobs in exchange for a “NO” vote in a recent political referendum, she has since gone on a “Pompa” tour, slang for “blow job”, making good on her promises that she made back in December 2016, Paola said,

“I will practice oral sex with due and careful craftsmanship, thus fulfilling my duty, without losing even a drop of your essence, strictly looking at you in the eye. All this to those who will vote no in the referendum.”

It’s been a very busy January month for Paola Saulino, but she’s following through on her promises. What a trooper!

One thing that is clear is that Madonna’s influence and the promises she had made, struck a chord or a major nerve, if you will, that now even needed the attention of some Xanax prescriptions, right away, perhaps? This applied to the different people that we spoke to across the country, that felt cheated by Madonna’s claims, who ultimately chose Hillary Clinton on voting day, predominately because of what she had said back way back in mid October, last year.

So, will Madonna make good on her promises like Paola Saulino is doing? Only time will tell. We will keep you updated if we hear anything new regarding this whole issue, that has left many people bamboozled at the ballot box.

Perhaps, since Hillary Clinton lost the election, the promises were voided. This still wasn’t made clear to anyone, in any terms and conditions, that were still not anywhere to be found. Keep those ballot stubs anyway, since you never know

 

<Story by The Narrator>

Featured Photo Credit: ParentRap -Pixabay

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