Northern Hemisphere, near the Prime Meridian – There we were, sitting outside a pub, when the three people sitting next to us became abundantly clear, this was your average Friday night in a boring pub, for these three men that were in their mid to early thirties. Two of the men from South Africa asked the married bearded hipster in the middle, “Where’s your wife?”
This is when our ears opened, as clearly the two men asking didn’t seem to be interested in women and with that his response was surely something to savour, “She’s up north for the weekend, visiting friends”. We glared over at the man; a generally meek looking character and we thought surely this is another case of a whipped married man, put into position by his wife. The only initial thought upon hearing this revelation was “Sure, buddy”, as a gigantic smile came over us, from within as we did our best to hide it, as one of his friends stared over at our table.
We hid our smile and thought surely this man can’t be that “stupid”. Plus, we also wondered how long they might have been married for, in order for it to reach this inevitable stage of denial. Perhaps, he had been secluded over the years and he didn’t really have a clue of what was really happening? At least he had his two friends there to support him with alcohol.
But, approximately fifteen minutes later, both of his friends went to the bar to buy another round of drinks in this very boring pub and low and behold; his phone rang and he answered the phone and he put it on speaker phone, presumably in order to hear better. It was his wife; she was phoning from a noisy party, the husband asked, “What are you doing?”
He couldn’t understand her response, as the music was too loud and she sounded belligerently drunk, she only managed to communicate sounds that we couldn’t even understand from the table next to him. And, with that he said, “Have fun!” and he hung up the phone. The time was barely even 9pm.
His friends returned to his table and the husband said “V***y” just called me and his friends asked, before setting the new round of drinks on the table, “What did she say?”
The bearded man smiled and took a drink of his beer and said, “I don’t know, I couldn’t even understand a thing that she was saying”.
We raised our eyebrows and smiled from within at the utter cluelessness of this poor married man and we thought that this one surely, will not end well. We felt very sorry for his naivety, in all honesty. But, his joy may have just been to be away from her for the weekend.
With that admission and that we couldn’t hear what she was saying either, we decided to let him keep imagining that everything was going to be alright, as even his friends seemed to just pat him on the back and they carried on with their very tame evening, which was admittedly going nowhere, as most nights at the pub do, they go absolutely nowhere. Sad.
Well, hopefully she returned later that Sunday or Monday, and lord only knows what type of a fun evening or weekend that she ended up having?
“Ignorance is bliss” as they say. True stories, coming at ya’! That’s the second in the series of “overheard whipped men in bars”, and with all these cries for women’s rights recently, “Come on! Sort it out!”. Hopefully they will or won’t see this story…
Brainstain, over and out!
<Story by The Narrator>
Featured Photo Credit: Bearded-Earthling-Pixabay