Before the internet Jesus walked amongst us, Neanderthals left statuses on cave walls and people were literally starved, I mean, did you really eat it if you didn’t Instagram it?
During a time when pencils were actually a thing and hashtags were irrelevant, the Internet has sensationally changed how we operate on a day-to-day basis, I mean, what would life be like without the profound genius that is the “Cash me outside’’ girl?
So, let us reminisce at a time when the only way to delete your porn history was with a box of matches, here are 25 things we did before the internet existed.
1 – A tweet was actually you know, a sound a bird made.
2 – Googling someone meant something entirely different, probably some kind of weird obscure indecent sexual position.
3 – Trolls only existed in fairy tales and kept themselves isolated under a bridge or in forests.
4 – Stalking was hard and it required real effort like a spy, not like how it is on the Internet these days.
5 – You actually had to put effort in putting clothes on to go shopping and not buy it online.
6 – There were strange foreign objects called called encyclopedia’s on book shelves, since Wikipedia was not a thing, at all.
7 – People would sit alone on trains and in restaurants without gadgets in their hands like complete and utter socially awkward psychopaths, with nothing to do but stare at the walls.
8 – Gina Miller did not exist, which was a great time to be alive.
9 – Recruiters had to do, you know, actual recruitment work.
10 – Two people sitting at a dinner table were actually forced to look at each other and even engage in verbal communication.
11 – A “catfish” was just a fish with whiskers and not a pervert cosplaying as somebody entirely different.
12 – Food was actually just eaten and was not a photo opportunity for Instagram.
13 – People would actually go to bed at a reasonable time and not stay up late watching documentaries about the Illuminati.
14 – When someone “followed” you, you ran, you ran for your dear life.
15 – No one was keeping up with the Kardashians. Wonderful memories, indeed.
16 – ‘’Netflix and chill’’ was simply referred to as ‘’Blockbuster and Popcorn’’.
17 – People didn’t get into arguments with strangers over Brexit or over Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump.
18 – MTV actually played music videos and did not endorse underage pregnancy or even the hatred of white people.
19 – Spam was just a canned meat and was not an annoying nuisance that played out in your email inbox.
20 – Hillary Clinton wouldn’t have been able to ‘’accidentally’’ delete 30 thousand classified and confidential emails.
21 – It wasn’t a race to tell others who had just died and who would garner more sympathy over Facebook statuses in solidarity.
22 – You actually had to tell someone to their face that you didn’t want to date them, as opposed to just swiping left and forgetting that they ever existed, as we all do today with those silly dating apps.
23 – You were forced to just stare at a bathroom floor and use your imagination when using the toilet.
24 – Kids played in a magical place called “outside”.
25 – And, before the Internet, Donald Trump was still winning in life. Just check the mid 90’s out! It was a whale of a time!
Life without the internet? Death is far more appeasing, quite frankly.
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: TruthDisclosed