On March 21st 2017 civilisation as we know it, completely halted. The very fabric of time ceased to exist and humanity faced complete and utter annihilation. Xbox Live….crashed yesterday.
The Microsoft system began experiencing issues during the day and as a result, servers went down and Armageddon was upon us, “Oh and Jesus returned”. He forgot one of his sandals.
With Xbox Live down and the inability to sign in, that meant for many people across the world, no games, no Netflix, no Twitch, no YouTube, basically no reason to live anymore. Meanwhile, PS4 gamers went about their normal lives.
Some were even blaming President Trump for their Xbox One misfortunes “I thought you were going to make America great again!?!” tweeted one clearly angry and frustrated gamer, probably a Hillary Clinton supporter.
Or maybe, it was the Russians? Let’s blame them, seems a favourite narrative to place blame upon.
Gamers trying to log onto Xbox Live were met with the message: “There was a problem. We couldn’t sign you in. Try again in a few minutes, or check your account by signing into account.live.com.”
On the Xbox Live Status page, Microsoft confirmed that the core services were down as well as purchases and content usage. The company noted that it was working to address the problems.
“Our engineers and developers are actively continuing to work to resolve the issue causing some members to have problems finding previously-purchased content or purchasing new content,” the company wrote. “Stay tuned, and thanks for your patience.”
It’s unclear what actually caused the outage. There’s a possibility it was just a connection problem or it could be the result of a deliberate cyber attack (probably by Russians, no doubt). “They did this! The Russians!”
With Microsoft promising to work on a fix for the solution, gamers were faced with an utterly grim reality, life without Xbox Live. So, with that depression in mind, here we hypothetically imagine 10 things gamers did when Xbox Live crashed.
1 – We assume many gamers did in fact attempt to commit suicide, I mean, what is life without Xbox and what is the point of living?
2 – Or maybe they just went on a casual mass killing spree?
3 – Perhaps they discovered the joys of reading?
4 – Or possibly discovered that they actually had a girlfriend? You know, a real life physically breathing moving girlfriend or partner!
5 – Maybe they baked a cake?
6 – Or perhaps they just listened to some One Direction? As if!
7 – Or maybe they ventured outside to enjoy the fresh air?
8 – They could of just taken a nap, perhaps? Sleep it off, Xbox will be back….
9 – Or maybe, they just got intoxicated and forget about their woes? “A little slow tonight, isn’t it Lloyd?” – “Yes, it is Mr. Torrance”.
10 – No, in all likelihood they probably had a nervous breakdown and shaved off all their hair, that would be the most logical thing to do in a situation like this.
So, how did you survive the great Xbox Live crash? Do you still have your all your hair intact?
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: Seekernetwork