Where is Madeleine McCann? That is the question on everyone’s lips, nearly 10 years after her mysterious vanishing act. The disappearance and case of Madeleine McCann is quite literally, the never-ending story. And, recently the DailyMail covered the story with former Detective Inspector, Dave Edgar, who believes she is still alive and hidden in plain sight somewhere in the Algarve.
The plot thickens.
Not a day goes past without another alleged sighting or Illuminati style conspiracy theory of McCann’s location, who disappeared on May 3rd, 2007, whilst on holiday with her family in Praia Del Luz, Portugal.
Was she abducted by aliens? Is she currently residing on the Moon? Was she sucked into a big black hole? If everything is hidden in plain sight, as former Detective Inspector Dave Edgar has claimed, then perhaps, they are overlooking the very key evidence, making other random propositions and theories of her whereabouts open for speculation .
Three-year-old Maddie vanished from a holiday apartment in Praia da Luz on May 3rd, 2007, while her parents Kate and Gerry were dining at a nearby restaurant with some of their pals.
If no one remembers 2007, it was the year when MySpace was still a thing and Britney Spears shaved all her hair during a psychotic break down. The year of 2007 was the time to be alive, unfortunately for Maddie it wasn’t and it amazes us that a missing little girl could just vanish into thin air.
Much has been made of the incompetent, inadequate, incapable and downright lousy parenting skills and child neglect of Gerry and Kate McCann, some even accuse them in their daughter’s disappearance.
Gerry and Kate, who left their three children, including toddler twins Sean and Amelie sleeping in their apartment, whilst they ate at a tapas bar, with other members of the liberal middle class of parenting society in attendance.
There were apparent sightings of Hillary and Bill Clinton during the said parent gathering, only joking. However, John Podesta’s name has not yet been forgotten, but it has been entirely overlooked this time, yet again. Thankfully, Chelsea Clinton is still alive and with us. Hmmm…
The same cannot be said for Maddie however, when Kate returned to check on the kids at around 10pm that evening, she discovered that Maddie was not in her bed and that she was missing.
Here at Brainstain, we love a good mystery, so much so that we have taken it amongst ourselves to investigate McCann’s mysterious disappearance and come up with logical and practical possible solutions of fact or complete fiction (hmmm).
So, to add to the confusion here are 10 possible theories as to where Madeleine McCann could be. The case of missing Madeleine McCann remains a mystery till this day, but new theories continue to emerge nearing the 10th anniversary of her disappearance. Let’s have a ponder at some of the strange one’s, whilst seemingly key evidence is being completely overlooked, and presumably just hidden in plain sight.
Oh, and if you find her, please tell her to go and like and subscribe to Brainstain, she is an international icon these days and we sincerely wish she will be discovered so we can all die in peace knowing she was still among us.
1 – Was Madeleine kidnapped by a dark and sinister cult?
Madeleine could have been abducted and chosen as a sacrifice in some kind of satanic ritual in which the blood of an infant is required to summon a demonic deity from the nether realms, that will bring darkness and misery to the world. We already had Barack Obama’s presidential reign, I think we’ve had enough havoc and destruction for one generation, don’t you? After all, the domino effect of his actions will definitely be felt for even more generations still to come.
2 – Did Gerry and Kate McCann eat their daughter?
Are the McCann parent’s blood thirsty cannibals, who were simply feeling a little bit peckish that evening?
3 – Is Madeleine lost in the Bermuda Triangle?
Ever heard of the Bermuda Triangle? Also known as the Devil’s Triangle, the Bermuda Triangle is a loosely defined region in the western part of the North Atlantic Ocean, where a number of aircraft and ships are said to have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Disappearance and mysterious circumstances you say? Sounds like a place Madeleine is likely to be found within, probably with fragments of the Titanic as toys, but now where is Leonardo “Jack” DiCaprio when you really need him?
4 – Was Madeleine really kidnapped by aliens?
The most logical solution for the strange and sudden disappearance of Madeleine is that of paranormal activity by extra-terrestrial beings from another dimension. Hopefully for Madeleine’s sake, the aliens in question were that of a friendly and socially acceptable kind, we’re thinking more E.T. rather than the chest exploding kind with those sharp fangs and scaley black tails that seemingly have an infatuation with Sigourney Weaver.
5 – Did Madeleine join ISIS?
You hear so much about young girls desperately fleeing their families to join the Islamic state, maybe Madeleine was ahead of this trend? I mean, how can you resist the appeal of a burqa and a rifle and a 85-year-old sugar daddy? How she managed to get past passport control however, is an entirely different story and mystery altogether .
6 – Did Madeleine even exist in the first place?
Plot twist: Madeleine McCann’s disappearance is a massive government social conditioning experiment. Maddie never even existed; she is just a fragment of our imagination, at least that’s what they want you to believe anyway.
7 – Is Madeleine in Hogwarts?
“You’re a wizard Madeleine” maybe that’s the last sentence Maddie heard before she took a trip on the Hogwarts express at Platform 9¾ and left her muggle parents in fulfilling her magical destiny. That or she could have been abducted by Lord Voldemort and now cannot be found until Harry Potter finds the last Horcrux? To be honest, there is just as much chance as Madeleine being found alive and hiding in Hogwarts as a refugee being found in one of J.K Rowling’s mansions.
8 – Maybe Madeleine is just playing hide and seek?
Come on Maddie, come out now, you’ve taken this game of hide and seek a little bit too far now.
9 – Is Madeleine invisible?
Did Maddie inherit invisibility powers after being exposed to a cosmic storm in Portugal, but couldn’t control her newly found power and is now in a permanent state of invisibility? Yep, you definitely can’t see her.
10 – Was Madeleine murdered by her parents?
Has anyone thought of checking the basement of Gerry and Kate McCann’s? No? Well, maybe they should! Metropolitan Police used to refer to the Madeleine case as a serious crime investigation, but now refer it as a “Full Murder Investigation’’ despite claims from the McCann’s that their daughter is still alive.
So, what actually happened to Madeleine that night? Did Madeleine leave the holiday apartment and then go looking for her parents, who were the in tapas bar on the night that she went missing?
Was she abducted by an unknown and very shadowy figure and then taken away into the distance and never to be seen again?
Or is she dead, whatever it is due to either an accident, neglect, negligence or a deliberate act, we don’t know? Trained and specialized British sniffer dogs (whom have been previously successful in over 200 prior cases) during the initial investigation, sensed blood and a human corpse scent from the holiday apartment and a vehicle that was hired by the McCann’s after Madeleines disappearance or are those also rumours?
From the 48 questions asked by the Portuguese Police that Kate McCann refused to answer, to the washing of Madeleine’s favourite pink soft toy, “Cuddle Cat”, to publicly agreeing to take a lie detector test – and then later refusing to take it.
What are the McCann’s hiding?
The Portuguese Police also did a forensic examination of the window-sill, through which it is claimed that the abductor must have climbed out with Madeleine. The Portuguese Police said that they found no trace of any other person having made any impression on the window-sill. Moreover, they only found Kate McCann’s fingerprints on the window, no-one else’s. Not surprising as she could easily be removed due to her small size through a window, you know?
Something doesn’t smell right here though, and it’s not just the smell of Madeleine’s blood on Gerry and Kate’s hands, but to avoid a McCann law suit, we also smell the stench of fish and chips.
Since Madeleine ‘went missing’, the British media – TV, radio and newspapers – have continued to portray Madeleine and the McCanns as “innocent” victims of an evil abductor, which may very well be true.
Who is this evil abductor and what did they do with little Maddie? We guess just like the resurrection of Jesus, we will never know what is fact or fiction. Unless of course, it was Voldemort, who did in fact take her? Then in that case, she has probably being transformed into a snake of some kind.
Whilst we do hope Madeleine is found alive and we desperately want to know what the hell actually happened to her before we die, there is probably more chance of Maddie the Movie and Netflix series happening, rather than Madeleine actually appearing out of nowhere, and saying ”Ta Da!”.
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: Factorelblog