The Misanthropic Guide To People Hating (15 Examples Of Why Humans Suck)

Do you find yourself being unneighbourly and inhospitable towards your fellow humans? Forced to internalize internal frustrations and thoughts of death and mass killing sprees, whilst you are out in public, because of a general disdain for your work commute? 

Then you are clearly suffering from a severe case of misanthropy, which can be very normal in small doses. What is misanthropy? Misanthropy is a hatred or distrust of humankind. Traits include antisocial behaviour, scepticism and reclusiveness.

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Here at Brainstain, we encourage all forms of cynicism; just look at how Hillary Clinton still states that the deleted 33,000 emails on her private email server, were “private” and not work-related. What’s there not to be cynical about?

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There is nothing wrong or abnormal about being misanthropic, on the contrary, having complete and utter disregard for society is perfectly acceptable and normal, I mean, have you ever encountered a liberal feminist?

So, in representation of everything hateful and wrong with the world, here is The Misanthropic Guide To People Hating, OR 15 Examples of why Humans Suck. And these situations that generally just suck the life out of you!

Either way, we are sure that you will recognize a few scenarios in here, in which pure hatefulness is fully justified within your mind.

1 – You feel victimized and quite frankly are utterly offended when someone has the audacity to try to communicate with you when your earphones are clearly inserted in your ears. ‘Why is this person in my radius and why are they trying to speak with me? Vacate my private space and existence, immediately!’

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2 – Just the thought of leaving your bedroom is mentally exhausting, because you know you have to deal with people, lots and lots of people.

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3 – Sitting next to someone coughing and sneezing on any form of public transport is the equivalent of dying a slow painful death. Oh, how we loathe thee…

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4 – Having to listen to other people’s conversations in public because you made the unfortunate error of leaving your earphones at home, is comparable to an end of the world situation and or an imminent apocalypse of some kind.

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5 – Finding yourself in the unfortunate situation of being behind someone walking at a pathetically slow pace, makes you want to decapitate yourself.

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6 – In fact, just being in breathing distance of humans makes you want to go on a mass killing spree, in your mind at least.

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7 – The feeling of being surrounded by stupidity can leave you feeling delirious. Other negative side effects of coming in close proximity with humans, include frenzied, deranged, and demented migraines and general sickness of society in general.

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8 – Think of those poor and unfortunate souls that work in retail and have to deal with customers on a regular basis. And, you thought that ISIS was barbaric and primitive, well, then you clearly haven’t worked in a customer facing role, just yet. Customers, they are feral creatures and the scum of humanity. Awful, vile, dreadful and deplorable people who impose their weight (substantial weight in most cases) and generally make the life of humble retail workers an absolute and utter misery.

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9 – Working in retail is exhausting. The mental effort of dealing with the entitled and the blatantly stupid side of civilisation can take a serious toll on your psychology health and your wellbeing. Just continue to think happy thoughts and try not to stab anyone, whilst you do your best fake smile to placate rude and obnoxious humans.

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10 – People who take phone calls on the train and have no shame in broadcasting their conversation for the whole train carriage, need to be silenced, permanently.

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11 – Or what about those imbeciles who choose to sit next to you on public transport, when there’s clearly other seating and empty options available to them. ‘Please, don’t sit here unless you need to.’

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12 – Public transport brings out the worst in humankind, and we thought that liberals at a Hillary Clinton convention were bad enough.

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13 – Unruly feral children screaming and running around uncontrollably makes you wish abortion was mandatory for some parents, especially on a Airplanes.

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14 – In fact, why can’t it be compulsory to have children banned in all public places?

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15 – Let’s go one step better; can we make it obligatory that hipsters have to shave off those ridiculous moustaches and beards, they are quite possibly the evil personification of lacklustre trends, that have simply gone too far.

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Do you recognize a situation on our list that makes you detest the entire entire human race? Let us know in our comments section, revealing what makes you have a ”I hate people syndrome” moment and what you would do to wipe out civilisation, at least for one day.

Story by Michael Lee

Featured Photo Credit: Marketwatch

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