10 Emergency Virtue Signalling Ways To React On Social Media During An Islamic Terrorist Attack (Paris Edition)

Another day and another Islamic Terrorist attack in the name of the “religion of peace”, this time we revisit the former city of love and romance, turned migrant compound… dun, dun, dun, Paris!

One policeman confirmed killed, 2 other police officers are in a critical condition laying injured in the hospital, with this shooting on the Champs-Élysées, who did it? You guessed it, Islamic terrorists. Surprise!

Maybe if we could just stop offending psychopathic mass murdering religious fanatics, then none of this would have happened, right?

Fox News

As a result of the influx of Islamic terrorist attacks on western soil which seemingly occurs now on a daily basis, the Eiffel tower has been lit up with so many corresponding colours of countries that have experienced Islamic terrorist attacks, that it should be a multi-coloured disco attraction by now.

But, regardless of the sparkling lights and neon bulbs, we know sympathy is not sympathetic until it is broadcast on social media, that is.

The process below will help you in portraying a sympathetic and caring image and make you come across as a social media humanitarian, you may even generate more friend requests or followers as a result.

You know the drill by now…

1 – Change your profile photo to a filtered image of the Paris flag (you can probably use the filtered profile photo of the last time there was an Islamic terror attack in Paris, if you would like)


2 – Send your digital prayers; remember to write that you are sending your prayers and thoughts on your social media accounts otherwise the prayers won’t work in deterring more Islamic attacks the next time this occurs (and there most definitely will be a next time).


3 – Don’t forget to add “RIP’’ as your status will be ineffective without it. If you’re on Twitter please do make sure to include a trending hashtag so you can generate even more likes and shares. Bonus points if the tweet comes attached with a photo of anything french related (because snails and frogs and anything stereotypical french are patriotic).


4 – Add praying hands and American flag emojis to make your virtue signalling more appeasing for news-feeds. In fact, even if you are an atheist you should still include traces of religion so you do not come across as Islamophobic because it might offend Muslims. Remember, it is important to stay politically correct during these culturally sensitive times.


5 – Oh, and don’t forget to add some type off graphic for added sympathy, preferably something with the Eiffel Tower in it for that added European effect.


6 – Light a tea light (you can buy cheap ones from the pound shop) for added creativity so you can spell out Paris, as seen below. Remember, these tragic events need to be Instagram worthy.


7 – Join a rally and attend a Virgil, remember to look sad and cry in front of the cameras for added effect. Remember to wrap a French flag around yourself like a cape for added patriotism.


8 – Write an inspiring status stating that you won’t let the actions of a “few” deter you from living and continuing on with your life. During these turbulent times It is important that Islamic terrorists do not see your fear, even though that contradicts with point 7 on this list, it is important to remain claim at all times and carry on with your lives as if nothing ever happened.


9 – Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do NOT blame Islam in any way, shape, or form. In fact, do not even assume that Islam had anything to do with the attack in question, when in doubt blame a white Caucasian Christian male instead.


10 – Repeat this process the next time it happens, making sure to include specific references and cultural landmarks to whatever country has been attacked. There have been quite a few attacks now in most continents now so you should not be short of ideas and creativity for the next time.


If Marine Le Pen gets elected however, then you may consider this process void and unnecessary, given the current climate on the political landscape. After all, there’s an election going on, and debates was hampered by this attack, so don’t be distracted by this when casting your vote.

In Le Pen, we trust!


Story by Michael Lee

Featured Photo Credit: hdwallpapers

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