What a time to be British and to be alive. What with the sheer joy and realisation that we are finally escaping the evil clutches of the E.U and Theresa May’s general election triumph victory around the corner, there is more reason to celebrate the Union Jack today, than on any other day.
For you see, not only is it her majesty Queen Elizabeth’s 91st birthday, but today we celebrate a national past time and British tradition; 21st April is officially National Tea Day.
So, time to dust off that Union Jack Dress and wave the red, white and blue flag, fancy a slice of Brexit with your tea ma’am ?
For most British people, every day is national tea day, but for others it is Kettles at the ready and teabags at hand as they gulp down cream tea with pinkies up in the air.
Not content with trying to figure out the age out myth, when does milk go into a cup of tea? (It’s last before you ask) we learned that tepidophobia is actually a thing, an actual fear of a badly made cup of tea.
Because there’s nothing worse than having your tea resemble Hilary Clinton on a sunbed. Is that one or two sugars Bill?
British people hold tea preciously close to their hearts as if it’s a dear family member. Whether they take their tea with milk, sugar, lemon or even the millennial hipster favourite, green tea, it’s clear that the British have a fondness for its taste and flavour. The British on average consume 60 billion cups per year, according to the Tea and Infusions Organisation. That’s more than 900 cups a year for every man, woman and child in Great Britain (not including migrants)
In fact, tea can evoke a ton of emotion in a British person it seems.
When asked the question “How many sugars do you take in your tea?” when someone is offering to pour you a cup of tea, do you suddenly receive a gasp of complete and utter shock and disgust from them when you announce that you would like 3 or 4 spoons of sugar in your tea?
“You what??” they reply, “How much??”
Their reaction equals that of finding out someone close to them has died, it’s an emotional moment of astonishment and confusion as they look on with a face of disbelief and discomfort. There seems to be a socially accepted normal amount of sugar one takes in their tea, normally 1 or 2, but dare you go over that politically correct amount then be prepared to be judged and condemned by society.
This may be tea prejudice but it just goes to show how dedicated people are towards their cherished British past time.
Another more dangerous scenario you really don’t want to encounter is the aftermath of destruction of interrupting someone during their morning brew.
If you value your life and well-being, you will not be in radius and close proximity of a British person engaged in the art of tea drinking as they sip away.
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy tea and that’s pretty much the same thing.
So, how do you like your tea? With enough sugar to make an entire 3rd world country diabetic or do you like your tea left to brew in peace and solidity?
Pop on the kettle and let us know in the comment section. With World War III on the horizon, why don’t we have a nice cup of tea and wait until it all sizzles down!
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: Kave