Justin Bieber And The Girly Girl Grill

Justin Bieber, 23, for those of you who have been living under a rock for the last several years, is that Canadian singer guy that nobody (with good taste) likes for numerous reasons. In case you did happen to know who he was but were repressing memories of him, let us jog your memory a little. He’s that guy who sang “Sorry” and all manners of other crap songs of a similar caliber. Starting to come back to you yet? He’s also that guy who pissed in a restaurant mop bucket, egged his neighbor’s house, spray painted graffiti in Brazil, thinks he can play soccer, and even once did a special episode of Punk’d. Most infamously of all, he is the guy who’s music has been consistently, painstakingly cringeworthy from his early days on Youtube (circa 2008) all the way up to today in 2017. Not only hasn’t he improved in the 9 years he’s been in the spotlight, he’s actually gotten worse with every passing year. Now you know who we’re talking about, don’t you? Yeah that guy. The man who’s haircut was once the stuff of a bully’s dream, with all that “Poofy” hair floating and bouncing around. The one, the only, “JUSTIN BIEBER!”

Real talk though, nowadays it feels like he’s trying to grow up a bit, but he’s still got a lot of growing up to do. After losing his former first love Selena Gomes to The Weeknd, that should at least help him grow up a tiny bit more you would think. Love hurts, man! Lesson learned!

So what HAS Justin really been up to, apart from slowly morphing into Miley Cyrus with facial hair that is. Note: We actually do think that they might be twins of different genders, but that’s another story for another article. As it turns out, he’s back in the news today with something rather fun to show us. We actually thank him for it and for turning this boring news day on its head completely. I hope you’re all prepared for what he’s about to present to you, because they’re going to completely blow you mind! Brace yourselves, and just have a look at this sh*t!

Credit: DailyMail

Yep, that’s it. No they’re not braces, this my friend is Justin’s new pink Grill, which he proudly displayed to his Instagram followers recently. These bad boys right here cost him a cool $15,000, and yes, we are also finally seeing the emergence of some proper facial hair on his baby face. Thumbs up to you, lad! It’s not easy being 23-years-old, you know? It’s truly an awkward stage in life, where you basically don’t know jack sh*t about much and with all the “YES” people in Justin’s life, we’d definitely expect him to know a whole lot less than most, which is truly truly worrying, but completely justified (see what we did there?) when you see him posting pictures like this. Let’s see another picture now with more face.

Credit: DailyMail

Yes, he looks like Gilbert from The Revenge of the Nerds here, but he’s hardly as “cool”, is he? Not by a country mile! Sporting a pink grill which would never look good on anyone, let alone Justin Bieber, so we wonder what’s the motivation here? When will he actually wear these? After he brushes his teeth and right before bed like some sort of like a new age retainer?

Justin, for what PURPOSE did you buy a pink sparkly grill? Or any kind of grill for that matter? Please let us know your reasoning. It’s baffling the hell out of us here.

Let’s be honest, the “Grill”, which has been synonymous with “Southern Autotune Clown Artists” since the 2000’s, never really looked good on anyone, let alone in the color pink.

According to TMZ, the “Sorry” singer flew out to Miami last week to get a mould of his teeth done and this is the end result. The maker of these sparkly pink things is none other than LA based Jeweller ‘Gold Teeth God’ who used the mold to fashion up a pair of six teeth in rose gold and lightly dotted withlight pink sapphires. One might also add that it’s definitely the girly choice for a grill. You could even say it was a girly girl grill (haw haw). Still, no matter what color or design you get with these things, you’ll still look a lot less ridiculous with your natural teeth on show.

Credit: DailyMail

On the other hand, it’s quite an intricate design though. We hope to see Justin Bieber out and about wearing these in the near future for whatever occasion that he has planned them for. Thank you Justin for brightening up our Friday and for putting smiles on our faces yet again. What we are definitely witnessing here is the great learning curve in real time. All jokes aside, Justin, we’re absolutely sure that you’re a top guy, so just enjoy your weekend with your new pink grill and we’ll just check in with you later. Peace!

Brainstain, over and out!

<Story by The Narrator> 

Featured Photo Credit: Popular Jewelry

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