Last week the NHS suffered a catastrophic event of epic proportions, and no, Jeremy Corbyn had not been elected into Downing Street. Hospitals across England were hit by a large-scale cyber-attack which had locked staff out of their computers and forced many trusts to divert emergency patients.
In non-technical terms, what that meant was sheer wide-spread panic and pandemonium. Details of patient records and appointment schedules, as well as internal phone lines and emails, were all rendered inaccessible.
Benefit claiming patients were not able to receive their free Gastric band operations and non-English speaking refugees were unable to rinse the British National Health Service of all the benefits and services that they have come to expect and demand (via their interpreter of course).
The NHS was officially closed for business. So who could have been behind these deadly and menacing attacks? Whoever they were they wanted money. Pop-up messages demanding a ransom in exchange for access to the PCs were reported, and while the identity of the culprits still remain unknown, we here at Brainstain thought we would put on our detective caps and try our best to figure out the 7 possibilities of who the NHS cyber-attack culprits could be.
1 – Vladimir Putin and the Russians
Whenever there is talk of rigging or hacking, you know that those crafty Russians aren’t far behind. Well, at least according to Hillary Clinton anyway.
2 – Kim Jong-un and North Korea
The supreme leader and cult like figure of North Korea is public enemy number one right now. Everyone hates him, even the Pope. So hacking into the UK’s National Health Service could be the perfect sinister plan to trigger the prolonged saga that is World War 3.
3 – Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour Party
Attacking the out of date NHS systems and then blaming the Conservative Party for their failure to prevent such malware chaos could be the security flaw Corbyn needs to garner those much-needed votes to walk through the doors of Downing Street as Prime Minster. Maybe we underestimated this undercover criminal mastermind? No need to fear, Labour will save us from our misery.
4 – Diane Abbott
Although mathematics isn’t her strongest trait, maybe the British Labour Party politician intentionally sabotaged the NHS systems, so in turn she could then offer a solution and be the saviour of the day and we would all forget the fact that Diane Abbott cannot count for sh*t, add up or provide any accurate figures or do anything remotely worthwhile for that matter.
5 – Emmanuel Macron and the EU
With the recent election and vote of the President of France, purposely hacking the British NHS systems and then offering a cure that only the French and the EU could guarantee, would in turn, be the perfect opportunity to encourage evil Brexiteers to rethink the referendum vote and re-join the ranks of the E.U (with a hefty re-entry fee, of course).
6 – Hillary Clinton
The former first lady and Secretary of State needs to stay in the mainstream media somehow. Despite deleting official government emails, hacking the NHS systems and then claiming a solution could just be the publicity that she needs to convince the public that she is not that computer inadequate, after all. Maybe a 3rd run for President could be on the cards, as a result?
7 – Gina Miller
The wicked Remoaning queen would do anything (literally anything) to sabotage and bring down the UK to its crippling knees in trying to convince us that Brexit was bad idea for Britain. If that means the health, wellbeing and the very lives of everyday British people being affected in her corrupt and villainous scheme, then that is a small price to play in her deluded plans for global domination.
So there you have it, our prime suspects in the hacking of the NHS Systems. Like a Scooby Doo mystery, was there any wrongdoers in here that surprised you? Let us know who you think the dark and dastardly hacking masterminds were in the comments section below. Who knows? Maybe you will help to uncover who the reprehensible NHS cyber-attack culprits really are and potentially be in for a chance of claiming that NHS reward money?
I mean with all the budget cuts the NHS has had to endure over the years there must be some extra cash floating around somewhere right?
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit – Metro