6 Ways In Which You Are An Ignorant And Obnoxious Heightist

Short men don’t just exist in the fiction section or pop up in Disney films, short men are among us and they are real damn it!

They may be diminutive in size and be compact enough to fit inside your pocket, but short men have feelings too, so much so that each time someone makes a leprechaun comparison joke, a short man somewhere melts in a heap of low self-esteem and despair, this form of height discrimination is known as heightism.

If you have ever jokingly called a short man an elf on Christmas or mistakenly thought your Garden Gnome had escaped your backyard (easy mistake to make to be honest) then you our dear Brainstain reader are an average-legged heightist.

Heightist’s are the most loathsome, nasty, foul, disgusting, revolting, sickening and absolutely vile portionally sized creatures to ever walk on the face on the earth, and we thought ISIS were bad.

The Odyssey Online

So if you are one of those towering and monstrous bullies who pick on the small folk, shame on you for mocking innocent pint-sized people. Here are 6 Reasons Why You Are An Ignorant And Obnoxious Heightist. And in the meantime, why don’t you pick on someone your own size? Oh wait, everyone around you is only able to barley make eye contact with your waistline? Well, erm.. this is slightly awkward.

1 – Short men get insecure about their height

They may try and attempt to make ‘Short Pride’ an actual thing but the fact of the matter is short men are very self-conscious and anxious when it comes to their lack of body length. Yes, they may appear overly aggressive or assertive and downright scary and intimidating at times, but that is only because they suffer constant height discrimination on a regular basis. Remember, short men have feelings too, even if they are teeny-weeny.

The Odyssey Online

2 – Short men can’t change their height

If there was a remedy that magically saw growth in their nimble and shortened little body parts, you can be sure that short men would be the very first to take a sip of the secret potion. But the fact of the matter is that no limp stretching abilities like that exist in the modern age. Not even getting your knees done, sorry. So short men have to own up to their stubby little legs and just make do with their scaled-down self and not be self-conscious. Do not add to their apprehensive and uncertainty with your unruly heightist behaviour, short men can bite you, know!


3 – Not all short men are angry

Ever heard of short man syndrome? Or Napoleon syndrome? Technically it is a form of inferiority complex in which the person attempts to overcompensate for their perceived shortcomings. But despite the shorty social stigma, not all short men are psychopathic Oompa Loompa’s, they are real humans with real emotion and compassion. So please, have sympathy and consideration the next time you call an irritated short man an angry dwarf.

Media Tenor

4 – Short men deserve to be loved too

If you reject the romantic advances of a short man because their head just about reaches your torso, you are a bona fide “Heightist” and you are everything that’s wrong with an average heighted society. Short men may lack the height and stature, but if your 6 inch Manolo Blahnik heels make you look like Godzilla in comparison, then it makes you sort of a hypocrite. Yes, the hypocrisy of women not wanting to date short men because of size is one thing, but when rejecting the advances of a woman based on the size of her waist line, is always met with catastrophic feminism. Thus, you automatically have sympathy for the short man miniature population that just wants to be cuddled.


5 – Small size is fun-size

Just because a grown man has no other choice but to shop in the children’s isle of a clothes department and slip into a little boys Pokémon jumper, because size 10 men clothes absolutely drowns them into obscurity, it does not give you to right to ridicule or mock them for their short misfortunes.  On the contrary, you wish you had the ability to squeeze into a 5-year-old little girls polka dot dress and look on fleek, instead of the size 22 bin bag you are forced to exist in, you large and obnoxious overweight heightist hypocrite!


6 – It’s not the size but what you do with it that counts

Despite the fabled myth, not all short men possess small manhood’s. So all you villainous and evil heightist women, who claim they do not date short men because of their apparent microscopic sausage, can all check your tall privilege at the door. Short men are very well endowed with large sexual organs that can accommodate large 3rd world continents. Remember, short men make fantastic lovers and reach places average heighted men never knew existed, but because you are an ignorant and obnoxious heightist, you will never know the meaning of true love with a short man who could love and adore you, just as fully as an able-bodied and portioned male.


We here at Brainstain support the short man movement, although we are all of average height (so no NBA for us) and we do encourage those men under 5 ft 3 to hold their little necks up high, because what else can you do? Are you a short reader who has encountered the villainous evils of heightism?

Let us know in the comments section and remember, big things come in small packages, such as a 64GB SD memory card and your Hay-fever tablets, small yet powerful, as their becoming quite a big deal as the summer haze rolls in.

(EDITOR’s NOTE: This has been a paid for and sponsored post by a very short person. NOT!)

We will also commiserate with awfully tall women, at this point, since they deserve a mention too.


Story by Michael Lee

Featured Photo Credit – Engineers Journal

One Comment

  1. In an apartment complex that I lived in Houston, there was a loose knit collection of about 10-15 singles. We would meet at the pool on the weekends, and have informal parities. If one person knew of a singles event, they would inform the rest, and whoever wanted could attend. I even dated one of the girls in the group for a short time.
    In the group, was an attractive girl named Heidi. She was a degreed professional in the oil business. And you couldn’t miss her. She was 5’11”, blonde hair, with blue eyes. Typical for a tall girl, she didn’t have much up top, but she have broad curvy hips and an hour glass waist. She, needless to say, she got the attention of single men.
    One Saturday, I was catching rays and drinking beer with some of the other guys at the apartment complex pool, when one man I knew walked up to the group of us. He stated he had proposed to Heidi, and she had turned him down. He approached us in the off chance that someone might know Heidi and put the good word in for him with her. Months later, I was at my section’s pool of the apartment complex. There was a water polo game in progress, one man about 10 feet away me on my left, was playing boom box, and about 10 feet in the other direction were two girls from the group talking about how Heidi had rejected two other men’s marriage proposals. I wasn’t getting all the details of the conversation due to noise at the pool and that fact I didn’t really care, so I don’t know if the two girls were jealous of Heidi getting the attention of these two men, or if these women were mocking these men as losers, due to Heidi rejecting them. But the point here is not only was Heidi getting the attention of single men, but marriage proposals.
    Fast forward 12 years, one child and one divorce later on my part. A friend wanted me to join a dating agency. He would get a bonus if I joined, and I could join at a discount. I said before I join, I wanted to see what the single girls in the agency look like. I was given a binder of women 30-34 years of age. In the binder were pages of women. At the top of the page, in about 1 inch high letters was the girl’s name, then below that a 2″x3″ photo of her and below that 3 or 4 paragraphs that she wrote of herself. I started looking, when I got to page 7 or 8, I noticed the name Heidi. I took a good look, and it was her. I quickly scanned her paragraphs. I remembered a phrase of one sentence, it read, “34 years old, never married, no children.” I thought how could this be? I knew of three men who wanted to marry her, and in the 12 years that had passed there must have been more. How was it possible she never married given all the advantages she had? What dating parameters did she employ that failed her so miserably that resulted in her being a childless spinster given all the physical advantages she had?
    In a social setting, if she were not the most desirable girl, she certainly was one of the more desirable girls. And I am here to tell you Heidi could have had absolutely any man she wanted, and I mean absolutely any man. If a poll had been taken by the single guys in the complex of who would be the childless spinster at the age of 34, I am here to tell you Heidi’s name would not have been at the top of the list. What had she done with her life? How was it possible she never married? Did she think at the age of 34, she would have a bigger and better selection of single males than when she was 24?
    I suspect in her 20’s, she had a male qualification list as long as her inseam, and if a male were lacking any one of these parameters, the guy was rejected. She kept saying no to men, until there were no men to say no, to.
    I also suspect that since all during her early years, she was used to getting plenty of male attention, and assumed her future would be like her past. Why would it change? In her years 17-26, she most likely was the crème de la crème of women. But as she entered her late 20’s, much to her dismay, there were lots of younger girls, many prettier and more approachable, meaning shorter. At 5’11”, she was taller than 99% of the women, 80% of the men and at 28 years of age, older than 90% of both men and women in a single’s bar. She stood out like a sore thumb due to her height and age.
    How her story ends? I don’t know. I didn’t join the dating agency. But it was Heidi’s actions and Heidi’s actions alone that made her single. I bet never in her worse nightmares, did she ever think she would be a childless spinster at the age of 34. She wasted her youth and fertility using extremely flawed dating parameters that she created and imposed on herself and refused to change in spite of years of obvious failure. I can’t say for sure, but I will bet a dollar to a dime, she was a heightist, which made her dating life even harder to forfill.

    Another heightist story
    Albany, NY.
    I was taking a training class in Albany, NY, in the year 2000. A co-worker was looking over a singles web site on a computer during a class break. The site allowed you to read personal ads, but to write, you needed to join the site. I remember seeing a photo of a girl 20, who looked marginal at best, between a 6.5 to 7. We’re not talking about a Kate Upton look-a-like, but rather a plain girl. She was 6’1”. She said in her introduction that it would be hard for you (the reader) to believe that she would most likely be alone this weekend. She claimed to be a wonderful person, fun, outgoing, friendly and intelligent. She stated she was “tall, VERY tall”. And “Shorties need not apply.” How is that for a condescending attitude? I wonder how her life ended up? Did she become another Heidi?

    Sharon was a 35 year old divorced woman. She was 5’6” and average in looks and weight. She didn’t have any extraordinary physical characteristic that would distinguish her from any other female her age. She didn’t have a beautiful face or big breasts (maybe an A cup). She didn’t have an hour-glass figure or a Kim Kardashian ass. All in all, she was just average. She didn’t have a college degree and had no income generating skills. She was broke and living at her parent’s home with her 2 children from a failed marriage. One day, she is talking to my wife and says this. She will not date a man below 6’ AND he has to have a good income because he has to support her and her 2 children. When I heard this, my reaction was, Sharon is either insane or a delusional narcissist. Did she think that there was a severe shortage of broke women with children and that 6’ plus wealthy men just can’t get enough of them? That somehow a broke, divorced, 35 year old woman, average in looks with two kids was what every 6’ plus successful man wanted.
    Well, surprisingly she did get what she wanted —– sort of. She did get married, at the age of 40, to a man barely an inch taller than herself. I can’t speak of his income, but he is karate instructor, so I doubt he made a 6 figure income that she demanded 5 years earlier.
    What happened to the 6’ height man requirement? It would be interesting to know how many good men she rejected due to their height from the years 35-40? Maybe if she had used a man’s character as a measure him rather than his inseam, she would have found someone sooner or maybe if she used character as the most import factor years earlier, she would have found the right man in the first place, for her ex was 6’4”.

    In all my years of men friends, co-workers and acquaintances, not one time did I ever hear any man ever state he would refuse to date a woman because she was too tall. I can remember guys talking about long legs of certain girls at the beach or at bars. But again, never did any of my friends or acquaintances ever state they would reject a girl due to her height. I can’t say that about women, for I have heard plenty of women state they would not date a man due to his height. This can be easily verified by looking at any personal ads in the newspaper or web sites where women clearly state height requirements, with no exceptions.
    I have traveled the world. I have worked in 20 countries, and I can tell you the number one topic among men is women. And in all my years, I can tell you I never heard any man, anywhere, anytime, ever say he would refuse to date a woman because she was too tall. But as for women, you can go to any dating site, and I say again, any dating site and see height restrictions for men spelled out in no uncertain terms where women clearly state men’s height requirements, with no exceptions.

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