At Brainstain, we have recently conducted a new thorough study which proves quite equivocally that people who really believe that Android phones, (such as Samsung or HTC), are better than iPhones, may actually in fact be suffering from a form of mental illness.
Yes, we’re sorry to tell you, but our findings have been verified through sifting through lots of surveys, comparing market research on smart phone users, talking to people on the street and generally factoring in the key issues of denial and delusion, two signs of mental illness.
From the annoying pesky Android phone sounds that it makes every few seconds, (even though nothing is really happening apart from useless notifications that are simply there to irritate the living hell out of you, whilst you work or go about your day), to the slow thinking operating system, the very uncomfortable back button, and zig-zag finger unlocking control rather than a pin code for old school users, proves that the Android phone is far inferior to the excellent iPhone brand.
However, this hasn’t stopped some people who effervescently claim that Android phones are better than iPhones, despite all these irritating flaws, which has concluded our study to prove that anyone who thinks this way is most definitely suffering from some sort of mental disorder, or simply haven’t had the chance to yet convert to iPhone usage, just yet.
Now, we are not being biased, but clearly the smooth movement on iPhone coupled with the strong and stable app experience and the computer power behind it, (obviously likened to an Apple Mac computer), is unlike the Android phone which operates more like a PC computer; impractical across the board, picks up viruses and freezes dead in its tracks at the worst of times.
Obviously, it’s very easy to see why Android phone users may be stuck in denial and delusion when it comes to their choice of phone, and we can prove it with this lacklustre list of reasons why Android phones are better than iPhones, just to drive home the point in one full sweep. Have a read of these meagre points for deluded Android users from 2016.
In fact, why don’t you open the page up from that article and compare it to our reasoning, okay?
So, we thank Avram Piltch in writing for Tom’s Guide to debunk these false positives that he wrote. Since Avram reckons that because the Android is cheaper, then it’s obviously better. Right? WRONG!
He then makes a point of the 3.5mm Headphone jack in 2016, which are now becoming more and more obsolete, due to bluetooth headphones. So, yet again he’s WRONG!
Next he goes on about Higher Res screens, and as we have tried both the Samsung versus the iPhone and knowing full well about full HD, which they both provide, then we will have to say that yet again, he’s WRONG!
Next up, he talked about the 3D Cameras and Advanced Virtual Reality for Android phones. Surely by this point, this is starting to sound a lot like he’s fishing for potential buyers. We are yet to see any evidence of Virtual Reality being even something that any consumer would consider on their smart phone’s as yet. Completely WRONG!
Up to bat next is additional Hardware usage. What a dumb idea! The fact that this would be kited as a point of why the Android is better, suggests that the internal components are not good enough on their own, doesn’t it? So once again with the iPhone you will never feel the need to add a magic pen or a silly keyboard to your phone, because it simply doesn’t need it. Once again, he’s WRONG!
The next point is a Working File System. Maybe that’s a benefit to Android phone’s, but we are yet to see people wanting to receive, drop, and use important files on their phones, rather than simply doing it on your desktop or laptop computer. Ah well, you already know that Android users will try to find anything that doesn’t exist on the iPhone and try and use it as some sort of beneficial positive and reason for choosing an Android phone over an Apple phone. Thanks, but we’ll stick with Apple, since we will gladly be saving files by the means of using reliable and steadfast ways, as opposed to receiving important files on phones and then sticking them onto our computer. Why don’t you just email yourself and then drag it onto your computer’s files, when you open your laptop? Duh! WRONG!
His next point is Universal Sharing which sort of sounds like the Android phone can communicate with other planets and lifeforms in far away galaxies, but in all reality it is actually a very boring premise and this isn’t the case at all. Direct sharing to Google+ and Whatsapp at just the click of a button? Who cares about that? Nobody does that! WRONG AGAIN!
Now to really drive a nail in the coffin to Avram’s article of why he thinks the Android is better than the iPhone. His point regarding the Android phone’s Back Button almost makes us want to apply a sleeper choke hold on ourselves, till we gasp for breath and pass out. Sorry Avram, but the back button on the Android is something which the iPhone simply doesn’t need in order to navigate inside the apps, so right there, you’re once again seeing why he’s totally WRONG!
Lastly, we come to the final point in this long list: The Multiwindow Support. He says that Androids can split screen windows. Now tell us this: Why would anyone willingly want to split screen multiple applications on their relatively tiny phone screen’s in order to look at two windows at the same time? Who even does that? This isn’t a threesome Avram Piltch, it’s a smart phone! If you reckon splitting the screen is a benefit, you’d be a fool as it sounds pretty damn stupid to us here at Brainstain. All in all, everything in that article was just plain and simply WRONG!
So there you have it! We just debunked all the benefits listed for the Android being better than the trusty old iPhone range.
If you’re in the market for a new phone, we at Brainstain suggest that you don’t buy into the countless search results in Google that only state that Android phones are better than iPhones as perhaps the folks at Google are Android biased. Just maybe? Go look for yourself if you want, you’ll hardly find many lists of why iPhones are superior to Androids in Google search results. And, go figure!
Maybe they’ll list our article on why we don’t agree with the many people who say that Android phones are better than iPhones, or more than likely, they will just hide it away and continue their train of denial. Either way, if you follow us here at Brainstain, we’ve at least shared some home truths and given you some fair warnings about why the Apple iPhone is always a better pick than an Android phone. They simply just are the best choice of phone money can buy. Sorry people….
Just take our word for it, we don’t need to tell you why Apple is better. It just clearly is without needing to go into any details of any reasons why! With all that said, we invite the Android phone makers out there to send us some free phones to our office, just so we can test them out fully against the undeniable magic that is iPhone. Perhaps then our minds could be swayed, but not before some serious and rigorous testing, that will done on these phone’s with great scrutiny. Send us an email if you wish HTC (Google) and Samsung.
Hoping to hear from you soon!
Brainstain, over and out!
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Featured Photo Credit: Digital Guardian