With the UK elections now over and a new coalition government formed with the Democratic Unionist Party from Northern Ireland, British Prime Minster Theresa May is now ready to walk into the battlefield of Brussels and stare the very essence of corruption and wickedness right in the eyes… Angela Merkel.
Indeed, the empress of evil has said she sees no obstacles in the way of beginning Brexit talks as scheduled after Theresa May failed to win a majority in the UK election.
Due to begin on the 19th of June, Mrs. May is set to dig her signature kitten heels firmly in the EU regulated sands of Brussels and as she says herself, be a “bloody difficult woman” during the tense negotiation process.
Though many are wondering if we will get a hard, soft or medium rare cooked Brexit or if the UK will have to pay a rumoured €100billion as a potential divorce settlement to remove itself from the wrinkled clutches of European Commission president Jean-Claude Juncker. One vital question remains. What will happen to the star representing the United Kingdom once Britain officially leaves the EU?
The European Union flag symbolises the identity and unity of Europe. It features a circle of 12 gold stars on a blue background. They stand for the ideals of unity, solidarity and harmony among the people of Europe.
At least according to EU propaganda anyway.
Though the number of stars has nothing to do with the number of member countries, many people have associated the stars as representative of nations of the EU, one of which represents the United Kingdom.
So, what exactly will the EU look like once the UK sets sail back to home land and away from those unelected bureaucrats of Brussels?
Renowned Graffiti artist Banksy gave us a slight glimpse into the future as he made his first political statement over Britain’s decision to leave the European Union after a Brexit-inspired mural appeared, which depicts a workman chiseling away at one of the 12 golden stars of the EU’s flag.
So here at Brainstain we gathered around our thinking table and held discussions late into the night, analysing, questioning and coming up with bona fide outcomes as to the 5 Places the UK Star on the EU Flag Could Go Once Britain Leaves the European Union.
Get ready to grab your European Passport because we’re going on a holiday, though rest assured that we won’t be using the Eurotunnel.
1 – Maybe the star will fly to the mysterious and secluded land known as North Korea. We hear that the mighty and supreme ruler of the loyal and obedient North Korean cult of Kim Jong-un is looking to add a little star power to their nuclear missile testing facility. Maybe the former glorious UK European Union star could add a little sparkle and patriotism before inevitable catastrophic disaster and complete and utter Armageddon? Just make sure those rockets of death and destruction fall in line with EU standards and regulations.
2 – Could the EU’s United Kingdom star appear on the land where grown men wear skirts? No, we are not talking about Thailand and its inhabitants of ladyboy’s; we are of course referring to Nicola Sturgeon’s cherished home of Scotland. The First Minister of Scotland and the leader of the Scottish National Party has been short of luck and good fortune as of late, what with her manic obsession to split a continent apart and create her own subhuman species of Scottish test-tube babies, maybe the fallen UK star could shine a light upon her reddened ginger head and make her see some sense, finally?
3 – Could the barren wastelands of Syria be the new home of the once unified European Union UK star? God knows those poor Syrian refugees could do with a little bit of light, seeing as torches and electricity must be hard to come by since ISIS have replaced everything with halal endorsed hand grenades. Not the most user-friendly appliances that’s for sure, and most certainly not regulated and in accordance with EU standards and practices at all.
4 – Most of the world’s major cities are becoming tougher places to live due to rising political and social unrest, as well as growing threats of terrorism. Maybe the UK EU star could sprinkle some love, happiness and solidarity across the land? One place that could really do with a little cuddle is Ferguson, a City in Missouri in The United States of America, and the infamous birth place of Black Lives Matter. Remember BLM? They were a group of disgruntled people who claimed “racism” at every opportunity, in fact, you couldn’t even use the bathroom without being accused of being a Trump loving white supremacist, could you? Just make sure that racist bathroom is endorsed by EU regulations before using the flushing chain please.
5 – “Second star to the right, and straight on till morning” and with just enough EU magical dust so that you too could fly across the star bedazzled scenery of Neverland. Maybe on your adventures you’ll come across the former UK European Union star, now snorting pixie dust with Tinker Bell and the Hook-handed Muslim hate cleric Abu Hamza, who watches from the darkened shadows and curses the scantily clad fairy that dares leave the confines of her cave without covering up in a burqa. With Angela Merkel as supreme ruler and deity, migrants like Mr. Hamza will always have a home here in Neverland. [Correction – Within the European Union]
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you, well expect if you happen to be Angela Merkel of course, then your dreams of a united multicultural open bordered Europe most certainly will not be coming true, at least with the endorsement of the United Kingdom.
The UK is scheduled to leave the European Union on Friday the 29th March 2019, so that gives plenty of time for the UK EU star to advertise for a new home on Gumtree.
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit – Computer Weekly