Once upon a time in a magical glittering land under the bright and fabulous colours of the rainbow, was an unorthodox place where the drag dreams you dared to dream, really did come true. But today those dreams have turned to sawdust. Watching Drag Queens perform today is like listening to a repetitive reggae compilation on nonstop repeat – after ten minutes or so, it all sounds the same, and also gets rather irritating.
You see, the problem with today’s Drag conveyor belt of long legs, tiny waists, huge boobs and overly manufactured queens is that after a while, all the super-dramatic, head-bobbing, finger-wagging and over caked butch, beards and fishes all blend into a generic mix of tranny dog waste.
Once you take one look at today’s drag scraps, you instantly want to vomit. Today’s Drag offerings are basically a bunch of unoriginal queens, resembling hookers that are just being catty and bitchy towards each other, oh well, so much for the LGBTQ community harmony, right?
But not all Drag Queens were venomous homosexual men who hated on each other. Lily Savage was a British primetime spiritual drag auntie for many 90s gay kids growing up in the UK. Back then, she was TV’s most powerful queer figurehead; a righteous talent, whose wit, confidence and most importantly, “warmth”, united straight families and their unassuming gay kids on a Saturday evening, up and down the country with sincere laughter.
She was a novelty, and that’s what made her original and unusual. It wasn’t a drag queen “free for all” Royal Rumble, like it is today, with the exception of Dame Edna Everage and on a lesser note, Julian Clary and Dale Winton, all effeminate men and their larger than life drag personas were a rarity, but they had class. Yes, they all were a true Saturday night inoffensive treat for the whole family, that even your grandma could enjoy.
They were not the kind of gay men in a dress who would flicker their overly extended eye lashes at you before stabbing you in the back with a 4 inch heel stiletto. These days you can’t flick through a mainstream show or skip past a YouTube channel without seeing another egotistical Drag Queen who thinks she’s Beyoncé’s overbearing and bitchy cousin.
It’s all well and good seeing the offspring of these Drag Queens pop up all over the place, but everything’s already been done, and really been done in a more authentic fashion. Today’s Drag Queens are so mainstream it hurts. That’s because Drag Queens today are dry, so dry that literally any ordinary bloke called Frank down the local council estate can buy a cheap wig off eBay and a tacky little slutty bodycon dress two sizes too small shipped all the way from China and suddenly… POOF! They are a white trash trailer park stereotype with a dodgy southern accent mincing as a ropey old Drag Queen.
The mystique has all but vanished. The mysteriousness and status that once oozed off the colourfully long manicured nails and even extra-long curly eye lashes has sashayed away. Complete with the mandatory robotic exaggerated movements of the hips and shoulders and the overly used irritating puns and catchphrases, and all you are left with is something that has been done so many times before, and been done so much better in the past.
How many times can a white 45-year old man dressed as a dodgy old hooker resembling Britney Spears from the 2007 era, repeat the words ‘Hey Gurl’ and ‘Fierce’ in the same sentence, without sounding like a reject from Real Housewives of Atlanta.
No cultural appropriation here honey, honest!
The increasing popularity of RuPaul’s Drag Race has helped bring a host of Drag Queens to the forefront of the public’s imagination. Whether you’re spilling tea, throwing shade or inviting someone to gag on your extravaganza, Drag Race has created a gay sub culture where literally you can’t bump into a gay guy who can’t quote Drag Race or tell you who won series 4 and just why they are so absolutely fabulous.
P.S – who actually gives a fuck who won series 4?!
Paris these days may be a glorified Islamic state, but if you uttered the words ‘Paris is Burning’, people wouldn’t be surprised if you were only referring to the latest terrorist attack in the former city of romance, would they?
However, the real ‘Paris is burning’ was actually a 1990 drag-ball documentary that showcased the lives of poor, largely black gay men, who built an alternative culture and one with a language that every cultural appropriating drag queen out there blatantly rips off. Drag Race isn’t the tranny revolution that many people think it is, quite the contrary actually, contestants, judges and it’s even more unaware viewers are mimicking gay men from another era. Gay men who found a way to forge an identity amid difficult social circumstances. It was a way of expressionism and escapism that allowed them to create and be daring. Shielded from a society that did not understand them, they created their own little universe, a universe that is now exploited by Corporations and TV networks.
It’s funny how something that was once judged, feared and ridiculed back when Drag was first created, is now being used as a formula to garner ratings and profit and in doing so, it has created a culture that is influential and popular in today’s generation, even with straight people.
In fact, if you’ve ever used words like “fierce” or “shady” or even commented “yassss queen” or “work” on a cute Instagram pic, you’ve been speaking the language of the Paris is Burning ball scene – likely, without ever realising where it even came from, all the while giving credit to Drag Race and it’s array of tranny culture appropriators, instead.
Which brings us to today’s offering of conjured chicks with dicks, all resembling a rejected Lady Gaga Halloween costume with a sprinkle of NeNe Leakes mannerisms, all the while miming to other artists’ pre-recorded backing tracks, well, at least X-Factor contestants actually perform and sing live!
Drag Queens are boring; everything has already been done and done a whole lot better before. “Gurl”, “Werque” and “Honey”. These are not original terms, and have been uttered by every cliché black American female since the dawn of time, way before Drag became the commercialised product that it is today.
There are now officially too many Drag Queens running around everywhere you go. They’re in bars, they’re at restaurants, they’re on the street, they’re on Facebook, they’re on Twitter and they are brainwashing your easily led and influenced darlings, one neck flip and overly used generic catchphrase at a time.
Don’t believe us? Well, here’s the recent Long Beach Library’s Drag Queen Story Hour for children, and this is probably where we should draw the line with Drag Queens, perhaps? Yeah, let’s leave toddlers out of it, shall we?
Anyway, wearing a dress and miming to a Rihanna track, doesn’t make you automatically “fierce”, it just makes you “unoriginal”. Now sashay away, please!
Story By Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: The Times