“Being ‘Straight’ Does Not Exist” Claim Scientists in Cornell University Study

Heterosexuality is just a fragment of your imagination. It’s a hallucination and a perception of something not physically present, like pink elephants, Bigfoot and Hillary Clinton as President.

You see, being strictly 100% heterosexual does not exist, well according to a psychologist who claims more and more men are better defined as “mostly straight” rather than just straight as a ruler.

Not bisexual, nor pansexual but ‘mostly’ straight, just to get it straight (though only 10%) if you are still confused like the vast majority of us now. So, does that mean that men only dabble in a bit of male on male fondling only 10% of the time when they are horny and can’t find anything else to do, or just when the girlfriend is nagging and on her period? We must ask the scientists…

No straight sex for you tonight honeyCredit: Her

According to studies at Cornell University, research has found that most of us get aroused by both genders. While most societies promote heterosexuality as the ‘norm’, these results clearly show that we have been wrong all along.

According to Cornell University, sexuality is in fact a spectrum, and the traditional heterosexual and homosexual divide is not accurate. Researchers studied the reactions of people while watching pornography featuring both heterosexual and homosexual subjects and tracked their eye expansion in reaction to events occurring before them.

Ahhh, so it’s all about those wandering eyes. Those bloody 10% gay perverts!

Women were seemingly aroused by watching porn that featured men with women and women with women, while men’s pupils were further widened by watching both female and male masturbation scenes.

Interestingly enough, it seems that those poor and objectified heterosexual men in this case study, were not forced to watch gay penetration. Which was probably a major relief and actually a very good thing, as we think it would be more of a case of them covering their eyes, cringing or shuddering, whilst first witnessing it in horror than any sort of arousal.

People were actually allowed to watch porn here, for science! Credit: Wikipedia

In fact, the research doesn’t seem to state just what kind of porn was used in the experiment. Let’s just hope that it wasn’t the usual Pornhub shaky camera garbage. Though in saying that, watching Kim Kardashian service Ray J is enough to make anyone’s pupils expand in disbelief.

The author of the study, Ritch C Savin-Williams, explained that the point of the study was to show that people are “not either gay, straight, or bi.”

Somehow we believe this study is apart of a worldwide liberal agenda, but he explained that it proved that sexuality is a “continuum” and that he hopes it will help clear up a lot of misconceptions and stigma about bisexual people, in particular about bisexual men and the social pressure that bisexual men face in regards to their sexual desires.

Image result for straight people

Liberal logic: “Bloody straight people! We need to get rid of them!” Credit: Wattpad

“Men have gotten so much cultural crap put on them that even if a man does have some sexual attraction to guys, they would never say it,” Savin-Williams said.

The researcher went on further to explain that he is not “surprised” by the research findings, however, he was shocked at how many people are still identifying as heterosexual despite the obvious attraction that exists between people of the same sex.

So, in short, if you’re reading this, you’re probably gay. Even if it’s only 10%, you should most certainly be waving around your rainbow flags with absolute pride. Does that mean that we can all claim homophobic discrimination, receive all the social privileges of a gay man, and claim some compensation now?

Well, don’t file those inequity complaints in just yet, as most people after reading the report were not entirely convinced with the findings of the study, with one woman pointing out that arousal and sexual attraction are actually two separate things entirely.

That’s GAY! Actually, only 10% gay… Credit: Geckos Adventures

“I’ve watched (and enjoyed) lesbian porn, but I’ve got zero interest in having sex with women. I’ve never fantasised about having sex with a woman. I don’t even want to kiss a woman. Women do nothing for me sexually, but watching people having sex is arousing.”

She went on to add “It’s easy to misinterpret the results from this study. Based on my personal experience, I’m unconvinced.”

Here at Brainstain, we are not convinced either that this so-called study sets the record straight (see what we did there?). In a world where you can pick from 71 gender forms and sexualities on Facebook, there seems to be a never-ending effort to try to convince the whole world that they are gay, or even just to confuse the two biological genders.

Pupils widening or not, any study could be down to factors such as disbelief, or even just down to the fact that the millennial test subjects were not actually entirely straight to begin with. Can’t we just leave straight people alone and let them be, well, ermSTRAIGHT!


Story by Michael Lee

Featured Photo Credit: Ladylike

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