Hey kids, you know what time it is. It’s time to dust off those placards and channel that internal post-adolescent rage and march to the streets (again) and scream in unity and wave those fists and signs angrily in the air as you resist against the second amendment and the constitution.
However, with organisers of the #MarchForOurLives rally being caught out paying ‘street teams’ to take part in the protests on Craigslist for $50 and the event not receiving as much mainstream coverage or attendance as originally expected (despite guest cameos from bona fide celebrity commies David Hogg and Emma Gonzalez) and notwithstanding event organisers claiming that they drew a bigger crowd than Donald Trump’s inauguration (they didn’t!) those illiterate placards and signs now go back into the cupboards to protest another day or just tossed out and left on the streets like garbage for low paid working class men to clean up.
However, we here at Brainstain just love the A+ effort some of these social justice warriors put into their banners (despite the grammatical mistakes) so with enough freedom of speech to ridicule, which the glorious first amendment allows us to express. Here are the 15 Most Virtue Signalling Signs at the #MarchForOurLives Rally.
1 – Not too sure how shooting love hearts at a deranged maniac with a gun will do anything to protect you, but hey-ho!
2 – A proud mum looks on as her child wallows in profanity and self-loathing. He’ll make a fine up-standing citizen someday…
3 – We think that the recent tax cut and high increase in employment would disprove that point, but still… liberalism is a mental disorder without a cure, as of yet.
4 – Actually, putting a silencer on your voice would be lovely right about now.
5 – You may want to talk to the FBI and the Broward County Police about that, instead….
6 – According to online statistics, every year, guns are used over 80% more often to protect a life, than to take a life. So yeah, protecting that second amendment is pretty vital in order to protect lives actually. Since criminals and mass shooters don’t obey gun laws.
7 – Your mandatory virtue signalling multi-millionaire celebrities appeared for a walk, before retreating to their gated mansions with personal armed security guards and the very latest in CCTV security systems, whom are all heavily protected with guns.
8 – Erm… That’s a bit stupid and irresponsible to walk around wearing targets on your chests now, isn’t it?!
9 – Well yes, if you get straight F’s in multiple subjects, then the rest of the school should be scared of your impending liberal outburst .
10 – 3 out of 5 felons say they won’t mess with an armed victim. We guess arms can be used for more than just cuddles when being assaulted by a criminal.
11 – Actually girls, clothing is more regulated in Islamic countries such as Iran, where women are being sent to prison or killed for daring to remove the mandatory hijab that is forced upon them. Just saying…
12 – Actually, we’re rather comfortable with our penis size and our semi (that’s semi-automatic, not semi… you perverts) thank you very much.
13 – Oh wait, Hillary is here?! The same Hillary who sent guns and weapons to ISIS? Oh yeah… THAT Hillary!!
14 – To be fair, peanut butter is pretty disgusting and some people are highly allergic to it.
15 – There are approximately 125,000 abortions per day, that’s a staggering 40-50 million abortions every year. So in other words, your pussy is more murderous than a gun, and Planned Parenthood are the biggest murderers in America.
So, despite the liberal literature and radical agenda which has played out like a George Soros pantomime, the right to carry and bear arms is what keeps America free and its liberties intact. And no matter how many hormonal and bad-tempered teenagers walk up and down the country in march of aggravated agreement, let us all remember the lives saved by a good guy with a gun, shall we? Remember kids, guns don’t kill people, people kill people.
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: Romper