There are three things that feminists absolutely hate and despise in 2018. Donald Trump, compliments and anything involving something which resembles the shape of the male genitalia. That includes sausages and bananas and any other suspiciously shaped object, because let’s face it, we all know that anything like that is just a blatant metaphor for a phallic member.
In fact, it seems any kind of miscellaneous item is pretty much sexist these days. Just look at the terribly mundane ham sandwich. You may think that you are tucking into a succulent piece of meat stuffed between two slices of bread, but what you’re really doing is contributing to the offensive institutionalised male hierarchy.
Narcissistic men may think that they’re literally the best thing since sliced bread, but the meaty and totally misogynistic ham found squashed and oppressed in between these slices of empty calorie infested bread, actually represent decades of inequality and sexism. Carved from a male chauvinistic pig no doubt.
But this is of course, just one example of a sexist food product that women have to encounter on the refrigerated shelves of their local supermarket aisle. But what about within a more social setting in the same supermarket?
Social settings are after all, a breeding camp of everyday sexism, from the ill treatment of checkout girls chained to the tills by the exercise of the authority of their male managers, to the fact that these women still get paid in pennies compared to their male counterparts. Sexist!!
So just imagine the sheer anxiety and apprehension women also develop when they are encountered by the sheer amount of “man-spreading” and testosterone present on public transport, for instance. It’s enough to leave even the most hardened feminist a right menopausal emotional mess.
Well, fear not, because if you’re a disenfranchised western woman currently reading this in between sips of your Frappuccino, then you will no longer be objectified by intoxicating male privilege and the male patriarchy that governs us all. Since now we’re introducing… dun, dun, dun… the personal space box!
The personal space box is the latest in technological developments from the feminist movement, which brought you the social advancements such as the pink pussy hat, dyed purple hair and Linda Sarsour at the Women’s March.
This innovate design which resembles a female solidarity cube is being worn by empowered women in public who have to endure the oppression, struggle and the absolute sexist conditions on public transport. There are horrendous and extremely unpleasant incidents that women have recently reported, including having their actual knee being brushed by a man’s leg while on the subway, and having to put up with overall toxic masculinity whilst in transit.
Other harrowing accounts of everyday sexism include having to go 50/50 on a Tinder date bill, when you expected him to pay for all of it, as well as the disgusting gesture of a man opening the door for you, as if he thought you couldn’t do it yourself.
Yes, overly sexualized and socially unbalanced situations like these occur on a daily basis, and are a harsh and brutal reminder of why innovations such as the personal space box are on par with other female empowered devices, such as the Burqa and why these have become necessary tools in the fight for equality and empowerment for women across the world, in fighting these male oppressors and patriarchal constructs.
Men within any radius will now know to approach you with caution, or in the ideal scenario not approach at all, when the personal space box is clearly visible and present. This sends out the direct message that the wearer of this fine contraption is not to be violated, nor to be emotionally molested, and above all else, will not be cat-called by misogynistic men who feel that they can belittle women’s existence with compliments and social adulation just because they happen to have a vagina and a pair of breasts… Even if they are surgically constructed or not!
The personal space box is a big “F-U” to the patriarchy who think women need to look and behave a certain way. The personal space box basically says, “I can have a metallic box around me and still be a valued and a respected member of society.”
So pretty much like it’s sister counterpart, the Burqa, just without the excessive sweating in the heat and it’s way easier to eat with.
Order the Personal Space Box right here!
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: Today