With so much breaking news surrounding the nothing-burger that is Michael Cohen’s ordeal through Robert Mueller’s witch-hunt, utilising porn star Stormy Daniels, and then somehow trying to tie it all into the false story of Russian meddling in the 2016 US election, we thought we’d cover something less insane, and that’s that a real life Kwik-E-Mart has just opened up in South Carolina.
Yes! You can now walk into your very own version of a Simpsons episode. In Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, the Kwik-E-Mart has just opened this Friday, and there, you can indulge yourself in iconic treats such as Lard Lad Donuts and Squishees frozen drinks to keep your thirst and hunger at bay.
This is welcome news for all Simpsons enthusiasts, and it could spark a bit of a tourist attraction in the coastal beach city of Myrtle Beach. Since never before has anyone ever actually been inside a real life Kwik-E-Mart, until now!
However, our experts say that without Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, there’ll still be something vital missing from the overall authentic experience of everyone’s favourite corner store. In saying that, what’s really extra is that their shelves are stocked with all kinds of memorabilia inspired by the iconic animation series, including products linked to the many characters of Springfield.
The big question remains… do they also stock Duff Beer? One can wish, right? Sadly, the answer is no! D’oh!
However, they are sticking the Duff brand on cans of real-life energy drinks, so that’s better than nothing we suppose…
Additionally, the Kwik-E-Mart will eventually be attached to an Aztec Theater, which is another business planned to open up this year, where fans will be able to soak in a Simpsons 4D movie experience. Two tickets please!
This is an extremely exciting prospect for Simpsons fans to put on their bucket list of future travel destinations, and despite there being no Duff Beer, and no Apu, there’s still a sign up in the Kwik-E-Mart store that says, ‘Thank you, come again’.
If that’s not enough to coax you into your very own Simpsons experience, then we don’t know what is!
This first Kwik-E-Mart store comes after a four-year long planning effort to increase tourism in the seaside community, and we’d have to agree that we might definitely show up in the store some day soon. After all, who wouldn’t want to waltz around the one and only Kwik-E-Mart in existence? Mmmm, Kwik-E-Mart…
However, we’re really afraid that the store is more of a bland corporate concoction rather than a real feel authentic Kwik-E-Mart, but so long as the store continues to develop into a realistic version of everyone’s favourite corner shop, then Myrtle Beach could be onto a winner.
We sincerely hope that the customer experience will improve beyond its infancy, and that more products from all walks of life in Springfield will adorn the shelves even more so than now, truly making you feel like you’re inside your very own Simpsons episode. Ay Caramba!
Story by The Narrator
Featured Photo Credit: Imgur